


Ctrl, Alt, Delete.

by harbularybatteries



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Depression, Drug Use, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Member Death, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm tagging all my Rami Malek stuff with bone zone now bye, Minor Character Death, Other, Panic Attacks, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Trust Issues, bone zone, fluff will be a thing, i cant write for shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-04-24 22:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4937050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harbularybatteries/pseuds/harbularybatteries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Febe sits next to Elliot at work, they've never exchanged more than a few words until now. Elliot notices something odd, and decides to speak up. Febe wants to hide it all away, and pretend like it never happened.<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>Hello, I'm sorry to say that this is on hiatus,still, due to me not having time to update and me losing part of my muse with Febe, i am sorry, but this hiatus isnt forever and I will be back with other works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pictures of You

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written a fanfiction in years, so please bear with me here. Honestly I’m horrible with reading characters, so if Elliot seems OOC - I’m sorry. Febe is the name of my OC, and because I’m not really following the plot of the show, I’m gonna label it as an AU type thing. Anything in italics is inner monologue from Febe, or the song I associate the chapter with. I realize that a lot of people spell Febe as Phoebe, but I liked this way better. (:

Drowning. I was drowning, maybe not physically, but mentally. I haven’t eaten in a few days, I couldn’t hold anything down aside from water at this point. I couldn’t breathe and I- _I can’t breathe, oh god, oh god, oh god._ I pulled my chair closer to my desk, hoping I could hide the fact that I was mid-panic attack from the rest of the office. My hands were shaking badly as I calmed myself enough to take shallow breaths. _In and out, Febe, in and out._ My hands gripped onto the edge of the desk, I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing.  “You okay?” A quiet voice asked. It was coming from the cubical to the left of me. _Oh god, they noticed, fuck!_  I turned to the person, taking as deep of a breath as I could.

“I’m fine,” I swallowed, “I’m okay, thank you.” I managed a small smile. I couldn’t remember this guy’s name. Eric, no that wasn’t it. Ethan? No. Elis? Eli? No, and no. Elliot? Was that it? I sure hope so, otherwise I’d have to ask and that’d be horribly embarrassing. He didn’t talk much to anyone about anything, aside from Angela, and Gideon when he had to. I couldn’t say much, though. It’s not like I talk unless it’s necessary either.

“Here,” He pulled his backpack into his lap, and grabbed a pack of Marlboro Blacks out of the smallest pocket in the front. He flipped open the top and pulled two cigarettes out. “Let’s go, you need this.” He handed me one of the smokes. I looked over at him as he stood up and shrugged his hoodie on, and swung the backpack over his shoulder. “Wait three minutes and then come out. I’ll be on the steps.” He turned and left without another word.

I glanced over at the clock on my computer- _11:52 am. Okay, Febs, you can do it. Just wait until five of, and then you can go._ I mentally steeled myself, until the three minutes passed, which felt like an eternity, honestly. I got up, grabbing my bag and jacket, and headed off towards the doors. No one looked up, thankfully. It was around lunch time, so maybe they thought I was just heading out for once instead of eating in the lounge room? I ran a hand through my hair, getting my bangs out of my eyes, and waiting for the elevator doors to open. I tapped my foot impatiently, hiding the cigarette behind my phone as I held it in my hand.

“C’mon,” I sighed and rolled my eyes just as the elevator opened up. I smiled at the people walking out, hoping they didn’t hear my annoyance. “Excuse me.” I said as I walked passed someone in a suit. I hit the little circle with the ‘L’ on it several times, hoping it would somehow make the elevator doors shut faster. Angela and Ollie slid into the small area last minute, talking in hushed voices beside me. “Ollie, seriously? God, you can be so annoying sometimes. Just leave it alone, will you?” Angela scoffed and turned her head to face the elevator doors as they opened up to the lobby. I walked out and pulled my jacket on, still managing to hide the cigarette perfectly, and shrugged my bag over one shoulder. It was smaller than Elliot’s, and didn’t have as many pockets. The air outside was nice, aside from the typical New York City stench. There was a small breeze too, which helped with the stuffiness, but definitely not the smell.

Elliot was sitting on the step right before the bottom, and had his hood pulled over his head. I sat next to him, setting my bag in front of me and sticking the cigarette in the right corner of my mouth. “You, uh, got a light?” I asked him raising an eyebrow, and smiling the best I could while biting slightly into the filter to hold it in place. He flipped the top of the pack open again, pulling a small Bic lighter from the carton. “Thanks,” I mumbled, flicking my thumb down the metal ring and onto the red tab at the end. I inhaled, and viola, the cigarette was lit. I handed him the lighter and pulled my headphones out from my bag, plugging one bud into my ear, and leaving the other to hang there, in case he decided to say something. ‘Pictures of You – The Cure’ scrolled across the top of the screen, and the music began to play, and I hummed along to the words. _I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they’re real. I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel._

“Y’know, you should probably hide that better,” he said pointing to the tattoo behind my ear. I’m not sure how he noticed that, it was so small _. I had makeup over it, didn’t I? Unless I forgot to put it on this morning… oh god._ He cracked a small smile and exhaled the remaining smoke.

My hand flew up to the tattoo in a last-ditch-effort to hide it so maybe he’d somehow magically forget about it. “I, uh,” I stumbled over my words and my neck started to heat up. “I usually cover it with makeup,” I took a shaky drag of the cigarette. “I guess I just forgot today.” I shrugged trying to brush it off. I toyed with my hair in another attempt to hide it. Which would’ve worked if my hair was only an inch or two longer.

“No, it’s okay. Gideon wouldn’t really care much unless it was a full on sleeve. It’s small enough and in a discreet spot. I wouldn’t worry about it much,” He turned to face the street again. “Didn’t mean to freak you out or anything.” He chuckled, and pulled his hood down to his shoulders. “What’s it mean, anyway? Is it your boyfriend’s name or somethin’?” he stamped the rest of his cigarette out on the pavement, and flicked the butt into the storm drain.

I was about to explain the silly meaning of the small ‘Mack’ tattoo when my phone started to ring. “Hold on,” I said to Elliot and stood up to walk a few paces away. “Hello?” I spoke in a completely different voice on the phone unless it was a friend or family member. “Yes, that’s me, may I ask why you’re calling?” I bit on my lip nervously and inhaled the last of the cigarette. “Oh. Oh my god, yeah I’ll be right there.” I bolted back up the steps, grabbing my bag, and back into the lobby to tell reception I needed to leave. “What’s going on?” Elliot had followed me back inside, a slightly worried expression on his face.

“It’s my brother,” I mumbled. “He’s in the hospital.” I clenched my teeth as I walked away from reception and out the doors of the building, heading towards the nearest subway. _Please be okay, Andy._

* * *

 

_Remembering you,_  
_fallen into my arms,_  
_crying for the death of your heart._  
_You were stone white,_  
_so delicate,_  
_lost in the cold._  
_You were always lost in the dark._  
_Remembering you_  
_how you used to be,_  
_slow drowned._

  
[Pictures of You - The Cure](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8UR2TFUp8w)


	2. Sound and Color

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve decided the titles of the chapters will be off of songs in the show, or songs that make me think about the show. I’ll list all songs in the bottom notes, and I’ll provide a link as well.
> 
>  
> 
> Right so this was written on Sunday the 4th, and today is the 7th. I asked you guys to get this up to 75+ hits before the 8th, and I said I'd upload chapter two early. So here's that B)

Running. I was running as fast as I could through the crowded sidewalks, and down into the nearest subway.  I looked at the train schedule, spotting the earliest train. It wouldn’t be here for another thirty minutes. That was too long, way too long. Andy could be seriously hurt, I needed to get there as fast as I could. Someone behind me touched my shoulder, and I put my hand in the pocket of my jacket, and grabbed the roll of quarters and swung. I turned to see Elliot, who was now on the floor of the subway platform. ”Shit!” I quickly knelt beside him, to see if he was conscious. “Elliot…hey, hey are you okay? Oh my god, I am so sorry.” I shook his shoulders, trying to stir him. After a few moments of that people began to gather around us, asking what had happened and if he was okay. “Someone call an ambulance!” I slid an arm under his head, and cradled him as much as I could. _You’re such a moron, Febe. Now you have two people to see in the hospital. Great job, outstanding._

When the EMTs finally arrived the people had started to lose interest in the situation. One of the EMTs began to speak, she was tall, taller than me at least, and had a smaller frame. “Ma’am, you can’t come with him unless you’re family-“  
“I’m his girlfriend.” I said without hesitation. _I’m sure he’ll appreciate that when he wakes up, Febe._ “Please, just let me go with him.” I sighed, furrowing my brows. Eventually she nodded, and waved me up the steps, mumbling something into her radio about how I was coming along.

The ride to the hospital went by so quickly I was startled when they pulled into the lot, escorting Elliot and I into the hospital lobby. I was told to sit in the lobby and wait for a doctor to come talk to me, so I decided to go see Andy. “My name is Febe Garcia, I, uhm, my brother Andrew Garcia is here?” It sounded more like a question than a statement, honestly. I pulled my ID out and slid it across to her.

The receptionist - a small older lady, with gray hair, and glasses perched on top of her head, typed away at her computer her eyes widening after she read something on the monitor. “Oh, love.” She looked up at me and my stomach dropped.

“What? What’s going on!?” I gripped onto the counter, my knuckles turning white.

“He’s in the OR right now, they’re doing all they can to help him. L-Let me get you someone to explain this yes? One moment,” She swallowed hard, and dialed a station number. “Hello, this is Carla from the Lobby Reception, I’m going to need a nurse who was with an Andrew Garcia to come down here and talk to his sister,” she paused waiting for an answer. “Yes, I’ll send her up.” She pressed the receiver on the landline, and scribbled a few things on one of those sticky passes. “Use the elevator on the right, floor 3, down the hall and straight to reception, okay? Go to a phone station and dial twelve twenty three if you get lost.” She gave me a caring smile and handed me the pass, sending me on my way.

I took a deep breath and nodded, marching off to the elevator sticking the pass onto my chest. I pressed the button repeatedly, and shifting my weight between my left and right foot. The doors opened and I followed the instructions Carla, the receptionist, had given me. _Floor three, down the hall and straight to reception._ Her words echoed in my head, over and over until I finally got to reception. I don’t know how they knew I was his sister, but a nurse immediately walked up to me, and led me towards a room with a few chairs. One of those family rooms they have for situations like these. “Your brother, he was found in his apartment room this morning, unconscious. One of his roommates found him, and dialed 911. We think it was a suicide attempt. For now we’ve got it taken care of, he’s in the OR, and they’re pumping his stomach now,” she took a breath before she continued. “He’ll most likely be okay, but he will need to stay in one of our rehabilitation units for a while until we think he’d be okay to go back home.”

“When will he be out of the operating room?” I asked taking several shallow, shaky breaths afterwards. _When they find out this isn’t the first time… they’ll keep him for a while longer than anyone else. Look at what you did. This is your fault. It’s always your fault._

The nurse smiled warmly, “We’ll let you know when you can see him.” She went to place a hand on my knee and I flinched. Just then remembering I needed to check in with Elliot. _You probably ruined him too. You ruin everyone you touch, you’re a monster._

“Can I use your phone?” I said gesturing to the landline on the table next to us. Kelly, I caught a glimpse at her name tag, nodded and smiled again.

* * *

 

 

 _A new world hangs outside the window_  
beautiful and strange  
It must be falling away  
I must be  
Sound and color with me for my mind  
and it should show you where to go when I need to speak

_Sound and Color – Alabama Shakes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, gals, and everyone else! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, honestly I’m not too proud of it.  
> I hope everyone’s staying safe and taking care of themselves.  
> Next week chapter three will be up, and I’ll be working on 4-6 while you guys are all reading these.
> 
> XxLane
> 
> Find me on Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook! (shameless self promo whoops)  
> just--joshing--ya.tumblr.com  
> Twitter: @porzellans  
> Instagram: @just.joshing.ya  
> Kik: staryeyedtears


	3. Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! I’ve been on a writing rampage this weekend. (By the time you all are reading this it’ll be one-two weeks from when I was actually sat at my computer typing away at the ungodly hours of the morning.) My birthday was on Tuesday so that’s cool. (Again, that was a week ago) Finally 15, dreadfully 15, all at once. Hopefully I can pull this fic off, it’s pretty hard to squeeze in writing right now, so forgive me if updates are at weird hours, or I miss a day or something. Alright, I’ll let you get reading!

Shaking. My leg was shaking as I jabbed at the square buttons on the phone. _Twelve twenty-three._ Someone picked up on the other end, not even half of a ring later. “Carla, lobby reception, how may I help you?” She cheerfully answered the phone like she didn’t just read my brother’s files.

“It’s Febe Garcia, Andrew’s sister. I uhm, I’m not lost, I’m just wondering if I could visit another friend who’s just arrived here? His name is Elliot Alderson.” My words were rushed, and I twisted my lips, waiting for her response.

There was the faint sound of typing coming from the phone. _She’s looking up Elliot’s files._ “Hmm… It says here that someone came here with him as his girlfriend? Would you by any chance know who that is? We have her listed as his primary contact, but no name.”

“That would be me, I’m his girlfriend.” I winced, not wanting to sink deeper into the lies I’ve started. _You could’ve said you were his cousin, maybe that would be less awkward. Not that being related to you is any better…_

“Come back down to here and I’ll give you a new pass and send you his way.” Her words were sweet, so sweet I felt like I could taste them. Like buttercream icing, on a vanilla cupcake with sprinkles.

I thanked Kelly, and shook her hand as I made my way back down into the lobby. Today was full of elevators and walking back and forth. Maybe I’d burn off my dinner before I even eat it. I chuckled quietly to myself, subconsciously rubbing at the tattoo on my ribs through my shirt. Carla had given me yet another pass, and told me that Elliot would be right down the hall in the ‘New in-patients’ ward, and that he’d be moved as soon as they found a room for him, if he decided to stay. I nodded at her before once again making my way down a blindingly white hall, with those shitty fluorescent lights that flicker occasionally.

I stopped in front of a security guard, showing her my pass before she buzzed me in. “Who’re you here for?” She asked, not harshly, but not as sweet as Carla would’ve been. I suppose that’s the welcoming versus the protecting factor, though.

I opened my mouth to speak, and when nothing came out I tried again, swallowing beforehand. “Elliot Alderson.” I bit the inside of my lower lip, hoping I wouldn’t have to repeat myself. She checked her tablet for the name before glancing back up at me, and pointing to a row of curtains with beds, and a bunch of machines behind them. _Look at what you’ve done. Look at it! This is your fault. You put him here. Monster._ The guard spoke again, giving me two steady nods. “Bed six, two down from the right.”

I smiled as a thank you and ducked out of her way, heading towards the curtain with feet just behind it. “Right, I understand you’re stable, Mister Alderson, but we cannot let you leave until one of your primary contacts arrive. We need to make sure you’ll be safe getting home, and have someone to look after you for a few days.” My heart sank, and the words burned at the back of my mind. _The only one on that list is you._ I swallowed, and slowly peaked around the curtain to see a slender doctor with a clip board tucked into his elbow, and Elliot sitting in the hospital bed, a bruise already forming below his left eye, and two butterfly bandages on his forehead, and one across the bridge of his nose. They both turned to look at me, the doctor confused, and Elliot slightly relieved, but mostly confused as well.

“I’m Febe Garcia,” I said stepping into the small area, making sure my bag didn’t snag on any of the equipment. “I came to see if he was okay.”

The doctor looked back down at his chart, and glanced at me, then at Elliot. “You’re Mister Alderson’s girlfriend, correct?” I shot Elliot a look that I hoped was a silent apology, and nodded at the doctor. “Good, I was just talking about how Mister Alderson would need someone to escort him home, and keep a watch on him. Do you two live together?” He questioned both of us, but looked directly at me. Elliot must’ve lied about something. I nodded again, giving a cheesy smile.

“Yes! I just moved in with him!” I flashed a smile again and brushed the hair out of my face to make myself seem giddy with love.

“Great!” The doctor chirped, glancing at Elliot who was giving me a questionable look before smiling up at the doctor. _He somehow looks even cuter when he smiles._ “We’ll send him home with you, and we’ll also send out a nurse a few times a week to check in on his head wounds, and make sure he hasn’t gotten an infection, or a worsening concussion.” _You gave him a concussion._  I glanced towards Elliot who had completely zoned off. “I’ll give you both notes to your jobs explaining why you can’t come in. If they have any further questions they can contact me here.” He scribbled on a piece of paper, and handed it to me before undoing the wires attached to Elliot. I stepped outside the curtain, and waited for Elliot to change and follow me.

We were walking down the same hallway I’d entered and into the lobby when Carla looked up to wave me over. Elliot followed, to my surprise he didn’t dart off alone. “Kelly has asked for you, Miss Garcia. She said she would find you when you go upstairs.” She spoke in a rushed voice before returning to her work.

 I made my way over to the elevators for the fifth time today and turned back to see Elliot a few paces behind me, hands shoved into his hoodie pockets and backpack hung lazily over his right shoulder. “You can wait here if you want, I’ll be down in a few minutes. Oh. Uh, I’m sorry about… this.” I said gesturing to my head and face, afraid to even go near him again. He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair.

“It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.” He leaned over me and pressed the button on the elevator’s panel. I smiled not wanting to argue, mostly because I’m not sure which statement he was brushing off. I raised an eyebrow, and turned back around to face the elevator doors, which opened just as I had done so.

I stepped in, and pressed the button for the third floor. Elliot followed once again much to my surprise. We waited for the doors to close, and the elevator to go up. We walked down the hall and to the reception. Kelly found us, and led us to my brother’s room. She was telling me that he might be a bit moody, or angry, and how it was all the medication they had him on. I knew it wasn’t though, it never was. _It’s because he’s ashamed to be related to you. Because he knows how much of a failure you are, how much oxygen you’ve wasted. How you’re the reason Mackenzie died._ I nodded, paying hardly any attention to what she was saying. I’d been through it before, I knew the whole spiel and then some. She stopped and smiled softly, pushing open a door, to let me walk in first, then Elliot, and then her.

“Andrew there’s some people here to see you before you leave, are you awake?” She slid past us, farther into the room to check on him. Kelly motioned Elliot and me to walk in farther. I peeked my face around the curtain, secretly hoping he’d have a change of heart. That maybe he’d give me a pass for once, even if I didn’t deserve it. _He won’t. He knows who you really are, and he won’t._

“Get out, I don’t want to see you,” He glared at me, and quickly glanced over to Elliot, who was standing slightly closer to me than what was comfortable. “Who told you I was here? Did mom not answer her phone calls? So they called you? What a mistake it was to call you, you’re useless. You’re the reason I’m even here, Febe.” He spat my name like it was the after taste of bile coming up. Like an acid that singed at every part of his being. I heard a sigh from Kelly, as she talked to my brother about something. “Oh, I’m sorry…” he was going to say something sarcastic. “Febe, my dearest sister…It’s not your fault I’m here. After all, you’re not the one who made Mack jump, you’re merely the one who pushed her an inch too far.” He snarled, giving me a sarcastic smile before turning to Kelly. “Better?”

I lunged at him. I didn’t care if he was in a hospital bed, I lunged anyway. “I didn’t! I didn’t make her jump!” I felt an arm grab me from behind and pull me back from him. Kelly jumped in front on me and pulled the curtain back around Andrew’s side of the room. He was laughing. He was laughing at me, he knew I’d lunge, he knew I’d scream. “I didn’t kill her,” I was sobbing now, my voice getting quieter and quieter each time I spoke. “I didn’t… I tried to help… I just couldn’t do enough. I tried.” I gave up, and let in. I was pulled out of the room by the person behind me. _You killed her. You know you did. Wait until he realizes that._ Elliot. The arms were Elliot. And we were sitting in the chairs back down in the lobby. I don’t know how we got there, I didn’t remember going through the hall and down the elevator again.

Elliot was talking to Kelly about Andrew, and I wanted nothing of it. I stood, making my way out the revolving door, and into the chilly October air, waiting for Elliot. I did have to take him home, after all. I wasn’t going to abandon him. I couldn’t let him end up like Mack. I couldn’t let that happen again, not after what I did to him. I wiped my eyes and nose with a tissue from my bag, I must’ve started to cry again. Elliot came walking out with a mix of his papers, and Andrew’s in his hands. He didn’t look at me, only stopped at the curb next to me to aid me in hailing a cab. When we finally managed to get one, he gave the driver his address, and we set off towards a slightly sketchy part of Chinatown. I paid the cabby, after an argument I won by pointing to his face, and saying it was the least I could do to help make up for that.

We walked up the steps, and up another floor before we reached his apartment. He fiddled with the keys, and pushed the door open, allowing me to walk in first. I untied my shoes, and placed my bag next to them on the floor. “Yknow, I don’t have to actually stay here with you, I could just come back every morning, around lunch, and then in the evening.” I shrugged offering half of a smile.

“No. It’s okay. I’d like it if you stayed,” he paused “If, and only if, you’re okay with staying.” He unzipped his hoodie, throwing it onto his bed in the far corner of the room.

“Yeah, that’s okay.” I nodded, toying with the fabric above my tattoo again before remembering his question about the one behind my ear. I moved my hair out of the way the best I could due to its short length “It’s for Mackenzie.”

* * *

 

_Don’t you know your Queen_  
Gleaming  
Wrapped in golden leaf  
don’t you know me  
Rank  
Ragged  
Skin sewn on sheets  
Casing the barracks   
For an ass to break and harness  
Into the fold  
Marry

_No family is safe_  
When I sashay.  
  
[Queen-Perfume Genius](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7OSSUwPVM4) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than normal, so I hope you enjoyed it (:  
> XxLane.
> 
> Instagram: @just.joshing.ya  
> Twitter: @Porzellans  
> just—joshing--ya.tumblr.com  
> kik: staryeyedtears


	4. Jupiter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure when this will be uploaded, tbh. Either the 19th of October or the 14th. Only time will tell. The reason I’m debating on doing two uploads a week is because as a person who reads fanfiction, I hate having to wait a week without reading it. I dunno, maybe that’s everyone. I might just do double uploads until I start to hit heavier chapters. Who knows?  
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter!
> 
> 10/14/15: I'm uploading this at around 12:30am on the 14th, mostly because I can't sleep due to my first appointment with my new therapist at 9am. I'm super nervous, honestly.  
> Leave me nice comments for when I get out, perhaps?  
> Enjoy the reads, yo!

Staring. He was staring at the tattoo, and then at me. I swallowed, the lump in my throat growing larger with every second of silence. “Do you have any others?” He asked, cocking his head to the side, his eyes filled with curiosity. I guessed it was a distraction of the sorts, he didn’t know what to say about Mack, so he asked a question similar enough to the topic, but just off the original subject.

“Yeah, one here” I said pointing to my left side, just on top of my ribs, “And one on my thigh,” It was addicting, honestly. The first tattoo I’d ever gotten was a stick and poke, back in my junior year of high school. By the time I was nineteen I had gotten the tattoo for Mack, then the one on my thigh, and then the one on my ribs. Elliot nodded satisfied with my answer, even if I didn’t tell him exactly what the others were. “Do you have any?” I questioned, taking a seat on the couch behind me.

“No. I don’t like people touching me, I’d make a horrible canvas,” He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Hey, do you wanna like, go get something to eat or…?” He walked over to his kitchen, opening a drawer, and pulling out an abundance of takeout menus, making it apparent that he wasn’t much of a cook himself. “There’s a pretty decent Chinese food place a few minutes away, if you’re down with that?” I nodded, and gave a small smile.

“Yeah, that sounds nice. I’ll need to stop by my place and grab a few things afterwards, if that’s alright.” I started to get up and stretch, raising my hands over my head and cracking my back, and neck in the process. I dropped my arms, and let out a hefty sigh. I wasn’t uncomfortable around Elliot like I normally would’ve been. I wasn’t good with people when I was alone. In crowds or groups I’m okay, but alone is something else. He nodded, mumbling a ‘mhm’ while walking back over to get his hoodie. I felt my pockets, making sure I had my wallet, and phone. I made my way to the door, picking my shoes up, and loosely tying the laces.

Elliot locked up, and knocked on his neighbor’s door. “Shayla, I’ll pick Flipper up in an hour or two, I’m gonna go run out to pick some stuff up,” he said when a girl opened the door, she smiled and said that it was fine, and that she’d be there, and closed the door. We made our way down the stairs, and out into the chilly evening air. I checked my phone for the time, 4:37pm is what the digital display told me. I stuffed my phone back into my pocket, and kept on walking just slightly behind Elliot until we reached the restaurant. It was about a ten or fifteen minute walk, and a subway was nearby, so we could easily hop on after dinner to stop by my place.

The place was quiet, there were about eight people in the dining area where the waitress sat us. “Can I get you guys something to drink?” She asked with a smile. I looked up to see her nametag that read ‘Kay’ in thin black letters.

“I’ll have a coke with lemon, please.” I smiled at her and she wrote my request down, and did the same with Elliot’s drink, Sprite with no ice, and left us, saying she’d be back with our drinks in a few moments. She did so, placing the glasses down with two straws.

“Are you guys ready to order or would you like more time?” She had her hand halfway into her apron, ready to grab her note pad if or when we said yes, which we did in unison.

“An order of Chicken Lo Mein and an egg roll, please.” I folded my menu and placed it on the edge of the table. Kay nodded, writing down the order quickly, and looked back up at Elliot.

“And for you, Sir?” She flashed him a toothy smile, taping the pen on the yellow pages.

“General Tso’s with a side of brown rice, and an egg roll. Thank you,” Elliot placed his menu on top of mine, picking them both up, and handed them to Kay – who was jotting his order down. She gave us another toothy smile before taking the menus, telling us our food would be out soon enough, and left. “Y’know,” he started “You’re a good actress, Febe. Today at the hospital?” He picked at the paper on his straw, crumpling it into a ball before taking a sip of his drink. _He’s embarrassed. He had to play along as your boyfriend, that poor thing…_

”It was nothing, I just didn’t want you to be stuck in the hospital because of me,” I gnawed on the inside of my lip, hoping to not draw blood. “I’m sorry I had to do that, by the way. It was the only way I could get in the Ambulance with you.”

“No, no don’t worry about that. It’s not the strangest thing that’s happened to me recently, if I’m honest,” He swirled the straw around the cup, making small whirlpools in the soft drink. “I’m sorry about grabbing you like that, I shouldn’t have done that. I just didn’t want you to be arrested or some shit.” He looked up at me, his eyes twinkling under the golden light.

I went to answer him, to tell him I was thankful he did it, that I’d rather not be in jail right now, but I didn’t. “I’m sorry you had to witness that,” That’s what I said instead. Because I was, no, I am sorry he had to. I had complicated his life, and I was sorry for doing so. I took the lemon off the side of my glass, squeezing it, and letting it splash and sink into my soda. When I looked up at Elliot he had partially zoned out again, either that or he was really focused on something behind me, aka the wall. I checked my phone for any messages, to see I had one from a number I didn’t know, I opened it to see it was spam.

Eventually our food came, and there was very little talk while we were eating. Elliot mentioned his dog, asking if I was allergic to them, to which I answered with no. I talked about music, which I was extremely passionate about. He mentioned he didn’t like concerts because there was too many people, to which I replied with the opposite. We were different, but in the same ways. He hated crowds, and preferred solitude most of the time. I hated being alone, and liked crowds to a certain extent. When we finished our food, Elliot excused himself to the restroom, and I took the opportunity to pay the bill. I grabbed a fortune cookie for both him and one for myself as well, along with a few mints. He argued with me over the money, trying to give me his half of the share back, and eventually gave up once we reached the subway.

I opened my fortune cookie then, and tossed his into his lap. I ate half of the cookie, and pulled the little white slip out to read it. “You don’t have to be perfect to fulfill your dreams. Thanks fortune cookie Gods and Goddesses.” I chuckled stuffing the paper into my pocket, and eating the rest of the cookie.

“Success is a journey not a destination. Alright then.” Elliot made a ‘humph’ and ate his cookie in silence.

It wasn’t a long journey to my apartment after that. It took us about another twenty minutes on the subway, and ten to walk to my apartment. I wasn’t in a super bad area, but it wasn’t all the great either. I buzzed myself in, and held the door for Elliot. We took the stairs up two floors, and walked down a hall until we reached my flat. It was big enough for one person with a small kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom. The living room doubled as a dining room. “I’m sorry, it’s a bit messy,” I said as I kicked a t-shirt into the air, catching it just before it fell again. “You can wait here, I’ll be done in like ten minutes.” I walked towards my room, pushing the door open. “If you wanna sit down you can.” I called from the other side of the flat, my head currently in one of my dresser drawers. I grabbed a few pairs of panties, another bra, and three pairs of jeans along with a few shirts. I shoved them into another backpack because the one I had back at Elliot’s was too small for the stuff I needed. I walked out of my room, and turned the corner into the bathroom grabbing my toothbrush, toothpaste, and my shampoo and conditioner. I grabbed anything else I needed, and shoved it into my bag, and walked back out into the living room to find Elliot sitting on the couch, his face looking harshly at his phone screen. I cleared my throat, making him jump.

“Shit, sorry,” I looked at him apologetically, hoping he knew I didn’t mean to startle him that badly. “We can uh, go now.” I started towards the door, grabbing the key to my apartment, and locking the door knob. I’d lock the deadbolt after. _Oh yes, because someone is going to break into your shitty ass apartment, and steal your shitty stuff._

The ride back to Elliot’s was silent, aside from the music I had playing into my earbuds. He sat closer to me than he did on the ride there, and he kept looking around the subway. He did the same as we walked back to his place, looked around us, and walked closer to me than he had earlier that day. It was near dark out now, probably around 6:30 or 7:00pm.

Elliot let me into his apartment, and went to grab his dog, Flipper, from Shayla. I set my bag down next to my other one, and shrugged my jacket off, along with kicking off my black shoes. I waited for Elliot to get back before I asked to shower, and change out from my work clothes. He said it was fine, and got me a fresh towel from the small bathroom closet, and explained how his shower worked. _Remember that time you got a second degree burn from Mack’s shower? And how you had to explain to the doctor why your hand was burnt. Talk about embarrassing._  I thanked him, and he left to do whatever it is he does. I had combed my curly hair a bit before turning the water on and playing a song from my phone. It’s how I timed my showers, I couldn’t take too long and use too much hot water. I allowed myself three songs, which was about ten or fifteen minutes depending on what my phone decided to play.

I toweled myself off, and put on a pair of shorts, and a baggy t-shirt I had gotten from a Led Zeppelin concert back in Jersey. I ran another comb through my hair, making sure it didn’t have any knots, and fixed my bangs, so they didn’t dry in an odd way and brushed my teeth. I hung the towel on the rack, and stepped out of the bathroom, to see Elliot on the computer, and the sofa had turned into a bed, which meant I thankfully didn’t have to sleep on the sofa itself. He had tossed an extra blanket onto the mattress, along with a few pillows that Flipper had curled up on. I tossed my bag onto the floor, and sat next to Flipper, letting her sniff me out before I tried to pet her. I liked dogs, I always had them growing up. I was used to being around them, and knew the ways they behaved if they were angry or unsure of you. I guess she had decided she liked me because she curled up in my lap, her face resting on my thigh just next to my tattoo. _At least someone likes you. It’s about damn time._

Elliot was focused on his computer, and I was messing around on my laptop, reading EBooks, and listening to more music. The next time I checked the clock it was nearly 1:00am, so I decided to sleep. I carefully moved flipper to the other side of the pull-out, and pulled the blanket over my shoulder, laying on my side. It smelled like Elliot. It was comforting. And with that I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

 _The stranger in your life thought you knew_  
How can I be yellow and still so blue?  
I’m blue.

 _Jupiter you’re on my mind_  
The clock will turn the gears of time  
I only wanna be with you  
Symmetry can lead askew

[Jupiter-Your Favorite Martian ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr1bTDl-D54)  
__  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well if you’ve made it this far, thank you! I know this isn’t the best fic out there, trust me. But if you do like it be sure to leave kudos, and comment! It really means a lot to me when I know people like my work.  
> I think I’ll be uploading this on Wednesday the 14th of October, if you could leave some nice comments or something that’d be great.
> 
> If you wanna get in touch with me here’s some of my social media!
> 
> Instagram: @chris.cochise  
> just—joshing—ya.tumblr.com  
> Twitter: @porzellans  
> 


	5. Cigarettes and Saints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drug use in the chapter!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I’m just finishing this up on Sunday the 18th, at 8:12pm, looks like I’m going to miss The Walking Dead, just so I can write for you guys. A quick update on my thumb- It’s healing well, and doesn’t need stitches, and it finally has healed enough for me to type comfortably on my laptop!  
> Wednesday is going to be exciting, I finally adopt my pet hedgehog, and you guys get the next chapter!  
> Enjoy the read!

**A/N: I’m writing this in Elliot’s P.O.V. so bear with me.**  


She looked peaceful when she slept, she looked less troubled, less tired. She needed this as much as I did, if not more. I hacked her once, when she first started working at All Safe, she didn’t have much social media- Twitter, and Tumblr. She had an Instagram but it’s been inactive for over one hundred-seventy-seven weeks. Her twitter was for random thoughts, keeping up with friends, following her favorite celebrities. Her Tumblr was much more personal, with poems, songs, and rants about the world. She hated society, she hated how she had become dependent on social media, how she made her every choice with society’s opinion in the back of her mind, whispering, clawing, and tearing at her every fiber of her being. She hated how the world was, how one minor thing could lead to your virtual demise, and how people who didn’t know you would judge you without hearing your side of the story. And I agreed with her.

She vented about personal things as well. About how she was feeling, about how the day had gone, how much it sucked, or how good of a day it was. Though the latter was rare, I still read some posts about it. I read posts about me, or as she had me dubbed “Hoodie-Man”. That was my nickname on her blogs. There were photos of her at concerts, at comic-cons. Photos of her as a teenager, when she straightened her curly brown hair. There were modern day selfies too, her hair now stayed in its natural curly state, and her clothes different from what she wore at work. There were no posts about her brother or Mack, though, which is why that came as a surprise to me.

Febe rolled over in her sleep, and Flipper hopped off of the bed, and onto mine. She rolled over once again, and there was a gasp coming from where she was. I turned to look at her, minimizing my tab in case she was awake. “You okay?” I put my computer to sleep, and padded over to the kitchen to pour myself some water.

“Just a nightmare.” She spoke softly, but I still heard the small crack in her voice. I set my glass down on the countertop, and grabbed the filtered water from the fridge. The stuff from the tap tastes like a public pool. I brought the water over to Febe and sat on the edge of what I supposed was her bed for the time being. She nodded as a thank you, and took a few sips of the water.

“I get them too, it’s okay,” I meant it to be comforting, and hopefully it was. I wasn’t good with people, I didn’t know how to help either. “You wanna smoke or something?”

“What does the ‘or something’ entail?” She perked her head up, setting the glass next to Qwerty, and folding her legs crisscrossed.

“I have morphine.” I didn’t need to explain anything, she nodded before I could. I got up, and went into the drawer by my computer to grab the orange bottle Shayla had brought them over in the last deal we made. I crushed the pills with the mortar and pestle, and tapped the powder out onto the mirror, cutting two lines, one for both of us. Febe was behind me now, shifting her weight between her feet. “You know how to do this?” I asked, craning my head to look at her.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She nodded and I moved out of the way, letting her go first. I didn’t watch. I hated watching. It made it awkward, to watch someone want to numb themselves so badly they resort to morphine, it made you know them a little too well. I heard her sniff, and let out a small sigh when she was done. Febe handed me the straw, and mumbled a thanks.

I went next, wiping the straw on the palm of my hand, before doing my own line. When I finished that I saw Febe sat on the edge of the pull-out mattress, petting Flipper with her feet. I sat next to her, waiting for the numbing affect to wash over me. “What’s that one?” I asked, pointing to the tattoo on her thigh, which was slightly paler than her olive toned arms and face.

She pulled the edge of her shorts up more, exposing the full-of-color tattoo. It wasn’t a typical tattoo- not from what he’d seen of tattoos anyway. It was a single sentence, color dripping from ‘underneath’ the letters, and down her thigh, forming an arrow, like from a bow and arrow, not just a random arrow. “It’s lyrics from this song I used to listen to when I needed to remember I was here and she wasn’t.” It was another tattoo for Mack, the two must have been close friends. Really close friends. Maybe like him an Angela were. She ran her finger over the letters, tracing out the ‘I should put all my arrows away’ over and over again.

“What song is it?” I asked before I had a chance to process what I was about to do. I stepped over Flipper, and jiggled my computer’s mouse a bit, clicking into the browser and my fingers poised, ready to type in the song.

“Cigarettes and Saints by The Wonder Years,” Febe had followed me to my computer, and watched me type in the song, clicking on the first video that popped up. “You don’t have to listen to it, y’know. It’s like four in the morning, you should sleep or something.”

I ignored her, not to be mean, but to listen to the song. I hardly ever listened to music, aside from when I needed to burn a file onto a disc. I crammed some songs from that album onto the disc in case anyone found it. Everything was named after a song on the album, just so it made sense. I’d name Febe’s disc after the album this was off of. No Closer to Heaven - The Wonder Years.

I liked Febe. She was cool, and didn’t have bad taste in music, or movies. She liked the abstract, and hated society. I knew her better than she thought, but she would never know me. I couldn’t risk getting attached, not again.

Febe had walked back to the sofa, and laid there on her back, humming along to the music. She must’ve listened to this a lot. It’s not something I’d normally listen to, but it’s nice. “I’ll bury your memories in the garden. I’ll watch them grow with the flowers in spring… I’ll keep you with me.” She sang along now, her voice was soft, and airy. It was nice, she sounded nice. I like the way she sings. It’s not overbearing, or too innocent. It’s somewhere in that in between, somewhere that isn’t brought to light like other voices are. I tapped my fingers along the desk to the beat, leaning back and enjoying the difference between the singer’s voice and Febe’s.

“Hey, Elliot… c’mon.” I was half asleep when I heard her approach. “C’mon, Elliot, I don’t want to drag you to bed…” she said some other things, but I zoned off again. I heard her sigh, and she tapped me on the shoulder. I did as she said, and took the few steps to my bed. “Goodnight, Elliot.” She was tossing a blanket on top of me. I tried to say goodnight back, but it came out as a slur of jumbled words. I heard her pad over to the sofa bed, and I looked up just enough to see her pull the covers over herself. Her brown hair splayed across the white pillows, the short curls wrapping around one another, not tangling, but just wrapping and twisting around itself.

I’m glad she’s here. I need this just as much as she does.

* * *

 

 _I’m sure there ain't a heaven,_  
but that don’t mean I don’t like to picture you there.  
I bet you’re bumming cigarettes off Saints.  
I’m sure you’re still singing  
but I bet that it’s still just a bit out of key.  
With that crooked smile pushing words across your teeth.

[Cigarettes and Saints—The Wonder Years](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hbcBrsUuz4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter than the last two chapters have been, but it’s getting late, and I have to edit this and start chapter six. Sorry guys!  
> xxLane
> 
> Instagram: @chris.cochise  
> Twitter: @porzellans  
> just--joshing--ya.tumblr.com


	6. Chin Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very difficult to write for some reason? I’m not quite sure why, maybe I’m just uber tired, or maybe it’s just a slight case of writers block. I have a pretty good idea of where I want this to end up, and where I want this to go in future chapters, but I couldn’t stand the way I kept writing the fillers, so here I am, two hours before I need to send this in, writing my ass off.  
> I hope this isn’t too shitty. This is from Elliot’s P.O.V. again, and I’ve decided that I’ll switch back and forth between the two, also decided to write this in third person, as it’s much easier that way. Whoops.

Something was burning, he could smell it even in his sleep. Something was burning. But what? He didn’t have anything that could catch on fire aside from his computer. _Shit_. He shot up out of bed, his shirt clung to his chest. It was hot in the apartment, his radiator must’ve stayed on all night. But when he looked to his computer, he didn’t see anything wrong with it. Elliot scanned the room, the computers were fine, the radiator might be sending off far too much heat, but everything else was fine. His eyes landed on the kitchen. _Oh._ He stared, watching Febe cook on the stove, flipping what appeared to be scrambled eggs in a pan. She turned towards him, her hair was still wasn’t brushed from the previous night. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” She smiled at him, and stirred the eggs once more. “I went out this morning and picked some food up. Decided to make you some breakfast.” She took a piece of bacon, and waved it in the air before she ate it.

Elliot stood up, and stretched. Flipper came bounding towards him, licking at his feet. “You didn’t have to,” He bent down to pet the small black dog. “Thank you.” He walked toward the kitchen, his hair slightly messed up from the pillows. He kicked the radiator a few times before it finally shut off, and opened the widow beside it, trying to cool the place down a little.

Febe turned the stove off and grabbed the handle of the pan, scooping some of the eggs onto a plate that was already filled with breakfast hash, and bacon. She let out a small hissing noise as a small bit of egg hit the floor. “Here, I mean it’s not the best but it’s something other than pop-tarts, or toast.” She grabbed a fork and napkin from beside the plate, and handed to Elliot.

 _She’s trying. Be happy. At least she’s trying._ His thoughts raced, bit he offered a small smile in return. Elliot wasn’t a morning person, or a people person in general, but there was something about Febe that brought out the best in him. He sat down on the couch, which Febe must have folded up while he was sleeping. He was still in his clothes from yesterday, but he’d change and shower after he ate with Febe, he could at least do that for her. After all, she did just spend money on a breakfast, and cooked it for him.

He watched as he sat down in the recliner across from him, her legs folded under her. She had changed, but hadn’t bothered with her hair. The only makeup she wore was a small amount of eyeliner, making her eyes look slightly bigger than they were. She smiled, and turned to her food.

* * *

 

This was a week ago, but Elliot was reminded of it each morning after that, when he would wake up to the smell off breakfast being cooked. Sometimes the nurse stopped by as she was cooking, and she’d offer a plate of food, asking her about Elliot’s physical state. She started catching on when Elliot took his pills in the kitchen each morning after breakfast. She’d note that he was slightly more miserable for a few hours, before returning to his mildly less miserable self. And Elliot picked up on things about her as well, the way she would rub at her ribs if she was nervous, or the way she would tie her hair back in a small ponytail if she was working on something. He noticed her smiling, and he noticed the way she’d be awake before him, and up after him. Elliot noticed more about her each day, and he supposed she noticed more about him too.

“You look chipper this morning,” She teased when Elliot woke up one morning, grumpier than usual. “The nurse stopped by late last night, I guess she wanted to see if I was actually here,” Febe shrugged, her shoulders touching the ends of her hair. “She said we could go back to work in two days, if you felt ready.” Looking over at him, she placed a waffle on his plate, and poured the batter into the iron to make another, presumably for herself.

This was routine now, Febe said something to tease him when he woke up, and then started a conversation with him, even when he was at his grumpiest. “Yeah, that’s okay,” He mumbled grabbing his plate from off of the counter. He sat at his normal place on the couch, waiting for Febe to sit in the chair across from him. “I’m gonna miss your food, though.” He said, taking a forkful of waffle into his mouth.

Febe looked over to him, taking the waffle out of the press and placing it onto her own plate. “Oh yeah?” She smirked as she walked over. “I’m gonna miss teasing your grumpy ass in the morning.” She sat next to him today, and ruffled his already messy hair. A break in the routine should have caused Elliot to freak out, but it didn’t. This time it hardly even phased him. He noticed the change, though. He noticed Febe putting more makeup on each day, and he noticed her curly hair would be brushed out carelessly when he woke up. She didn’t lounge around anymore either. She would constantly check her phone, and she would offer to walk Flipper more, claiming it was to go wash her clothes, or pick up some extra food. At first he didn’t mind, and he enjoyed the place to himself, but this had been happening for four days now, and he was starting to miss her company.

“Why do you keep leaving?” He asked, staring at the food on his plate, and moving some of it around with his fork. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know, but he supposed the truth would hurt less if it came from her, and not through him looking through her messages or emails. He didn’t move his head to look at her, but he could tell she had paused mid-bite, shocked by the question. Which was perfectly understandable. Elliot hadn’t said anything of it before, so why did he care all of a sudden?

“I’ve been visiting someone. Look, it’s really not a big deal, Elliot. I’ll be out of your hair in a few days, okay? And then…” Febe paused, and ran a hand through her curls. “And then we can go back to the way things were before all of this.” He felt her get off of the sofa, and he heard her walk into the kitchen. He heard the ceramic plate thunk on the floor, and he heard her put her shoes on and walk out of the door.

Elliot sighed heavily, finishing the last of his food. He shouldn’t have asked, it wasn’t any of his business, really. But he wanted to know because…because he had finally found someone who cared about him. He had finally found a real friend, even if it was only because she clocked him on the subway platform. Elliot only found friends through tragedy, or some off chance his neighbor offered him drugs. And yeah, sure he didn’t really become Febe’s friend through the best of situations, but so far it had been the best one. At least it was slightly comical, compared to the way he met Angela. At least it wasn’t just based off of the fact that he was so emotionally detached that he needed drugs to numb him further, the way he had met Shayla.

Elliot put his plate in the sink, and picked up the plate Flipper had cleaned to the point of it looking badly washed. He knew he shouldn’t fuck anything up more, but he needed to know why Febe would push him away without him noticing until now. He wanted to know what was going on, and how he could help. He sat at his computer desk, debating still, on whether or not he should look through her stuff. He had gotten access to her phone by sending her a spam link, hoping by some chance that she’d open it without realizing. He bit the inside of his cheek, deciding it’d end up coming out anyway. Elliot looked through her emails, finding several notices for her phone bill, electric, and water. And he saw a few emails from Gideon, who was checking in on the two of them quite frequently. He checked the folder named “Bullshit emails from bullshit people”. Febe’s landlord had emailed her, telling her that she had two weeks to get her stuff out, before he rented the flat to someone else. She had paid most of her bills, but the man was still not having it. Saying he couldn’t have someone who was constantly late on payments living there, telling her that he had run out of patience, and needed someone who would pay properly. Eventually she had given up the fight, and told him she’d start cleaning it out on Tuesday.

He closed the tabs, having read enough. This was why she was always gone, she had to make the train to the station by her apartment, and she needed to get as much done as she could before the next train arrived. He didn’t need to do the math, it was Saturday morning, and Tuesday was four days ago. The emails had dated back almost two weeks back. Elliot didn’t know where she was putting her stuff, but he wanted to tell her that she could stay here until she got back on her feet and found a new place. But then she’d know he snooped through her emails, and that would only ruin things more.

* * *

 

When Febe came home a few hours later, she had a fresh set on clothes on, and her makeup was done heavier. The thin black eyeliner became darker eyeshadows, and winged liner. Heavy mascara, and bronzer as well. Her thin lips were also colored with a burgundy color. She closed the door behind her, and leaned against it, sighing. “Honey, I’m home!” She called, untying her shoes and placing them under the table where Qwerty sat, swimming about his bowl.

Elliot poked his head around the wall, giving her a simple smile before walking out of the kitchen. “Well hello dear!” He mused, kissing the air around her cheeks. She seemed to be in a slightly better mood, and he was happy about that. But he saw the makeup and knew something was off, despite the joking. He cocked his head to the side, pulling his brows together. “What’s all this?” he drew a circle around Febe’s face with his pointer finger.

“Just felt like doing my makeup a bit differently is all,” she shrugged, her lips frowning momentarily. “What are you doing?” She asked, throwing her bag onto the couch and padded over to the kitchen.

“I thought I’d make lunch…er, dinner? Linner?” Elliot brushed past her and back to his place in the kitchen. It wasn’t late enough for dinner, but it was too late for lunch. The food wasn’t nearly as good as hers was, but it wasn’t terrible. “It’s supposed to be this really good oven baked chicken Angela used to make when she was practicing for home-ec. I’m not sure how good it tastes, though.” He made up two plates of it, putting a spoonful of mashed potatoes down next to it, along with another placing of assorted bag of vegetables he found in the small supermarket nearby. Elliot carried both plates to the living room, placing them on the small coffee table. He patted the space next to him and gestured for Febe to sit there.

Her smile was beautiful. He loved seeing her smile, and knowing he was behind it made him smile back, the skin around his green eyes crinkling ever so slightly. She sat as she normally did, with her legs folded underneath of her, her back slouched just a tad bit. “I didn’t know you were capable of cooking,” She poked him in the side. “Not with all of those takeout menus in the drawer.” She took a bite of the chicken, her smile not fading a bit.

Elliot playfully scoffed. “Just because I don’t cook doesn’t mean I can’t!” He feigned offence at her statement, but kept on eating. It wasn’t terrible, but it obviously wasn’t the best. Neither of them seemed to mind though, and that made it okay.

* * *

 

Febe helped him clean up, and wiped the last of the crumbs off the counter, dumping them into the trash before she made her way to the bathroom. She showered at night, and he showered in the morning. It worked out well, giving the hot water time to re-collect in the boiler down in the building’s basement.

Flipper was already asleep on Elliot’s bed as he pulled the cushions off of the sofa, preparing the bed for Febe. He felt bad for not having an actual bed for her to sleep in, but she insisted it was fine, and that it was actually pretty comfortable. He hadn’t noticed her walk out of the bathroom, he must have spaced out- normally he was aware of everything around him.

“Hey…” she began, her wet hair dripped onto the towel around the neckline of her shirt. “I uhm. I’m sorry about earlier, it’s just been a rough few days,” He turned to face her. It was the first he’d seen her in a while without some kind of makeup on. Her eyes were puffy, and there were dark circles under her eyes, indicating she hadn’t slept much, if at all, recently. “I shouldn’t have stormed off like that, honestly. I owe you an explanation, if you’re willing to hear it.” She sat down in the reclining chair, leaving him to sit on the edge on the pullout.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it, man.” He wanted to tell her he knew, he knew what was going on, but he couldn’t. “You don’t owe me anything either. That’s your decision to make, y’know?”

He heard her inhale deeply, and exhale slowly. “I’m being kicked out of my apartment, and I’ve been trying to move my stuff into the storage place in Jersey that my dad lets me use. It’s just been rough, trying to look for an apartment that isn’t most of my pay, and that isn’t in a bad area. It’s been stressful.”

Elliot swallowed, and licked his lips. She had been moving all of her stuff back down to Jersey, without any help. He, of all people knew how hard it is to move alone. And even though he knew she had already done a lot of it, he still wanted to help her somehow. “You can stay here,” he looked up at her quickly before looking back down. “Until you get back on your feet or whatever. It wouldn’t be a bother or anything. And I wanna help, it’s the least I could do.”

Febe had moved from the chair, he caught that out of the corner of his eye. “If you’re positive it wouldn’t bother you, that’d be great. It’ll only be for a little while, I promise, Elliot.” She was sitting next to him now, her brown eyes staring at the same place he was.

Elliot’s lips cracked into a smile. “You can stay as long as you’d like.” He wrapped one arm around her shoulders, giving her a small squeeze.

Part of him hoped she’d never find another apartment, that she could be his roommate, and not just someone staying until they could leave. Another part of him knew this would have a fifty-fifty chance of ending horribly wrong.

* * *

 

 _That tattoo of your name,_  
the number of your age.  
I don’t know what to say, I still think about you.  
And those pictures in Mum’s house  
that I touch when I’m around.  
  
[Chin Up—Moose Blood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4GiuaOsmWQ)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was by far the longest chapter I’ve ever written. 2,600+ words. Holy hell. I hope you guys enjoy this, because I put so so so much effort into writing these longer chapters.  
> I’m gonna be posting pictures of my hedgehog later tonight (7-8pm EST) so if you wanna see those, check out my social media.
> 
> Instagram: @chris.cochise (Hey I roleplay too so if youre into that hit me up here)  
> Twitter: @prozellans  
> just--joshing--ya.tumblr.com


	7. Roads Untraveled

That night Elliot went back out with Febe to her apartment in Brooklyn. They spent most of the forty minute subway ride in silence, Febe was sat down on one of the benches while Elliot stood in front of her. He heard her sigh and the small thud of her head hitting the window. “Febs...Don’t worry about it, okay? We’ll figure it out.” He leaned over and ruffled her short hair, the dark curls sifting between his fingers. She peered up at him, and gave half of a smile.

The walk to her apartment was fairly short, maybe three blocks from the subway. Most of her stuff was moved out, and the apartment that looked so full of life before now looked dull, and boring. The Led Zeppelin banner was still up, but Elliot watched as she pulled the tacks out of the wall, and folded the cloth neatly, placing it in a box marked “Important” in all capital cursive letters that were no doubt Febe’s. “How have you been moving all of this?” He asked, pulling open a dresser drawer and placing the clothes neatly in their corresponding box.

“Dad’s letting me use his truck, and I rented a trailer. It’s been hell getting it in and out of the city, though.” She sighed and brushed her hair out of her eyes with a huff.

Elliot nodded slowly as he continued to empty drawers. “Where’s it parked? I didn’t see it around here.”

“Parking lot three blocks down, the dude gives me free parking as long as I fuck him every once in a while,” her eyes widened, and her slender hand covered her mouth. “Shit, I uhm… I’m sorry I shouldn’t have put that out there…”

Elliot swallowed, his jaw clenched as the wave of jealousy washed over him, a pang of hurt jabbing at his heart. He remained silent, but kept boxing her things up, only moving from his spot to put the box along with the others. His eyes found hers momentarily, and he sighed. Elliot hadn’t realized he dosed off until Febe placed a hand on his shoulder, telling him they needed to put the rest of her stuff in the trailer.

“I’ll be back, just stay here and make sure everything’s all packed up for me?” She shrugged on a leather jacket, and stepped into a worn in pair of Doc Martens. She gave him a quick hug and walked out of the door, which echoed slightly in the empty room.

He walked around the living area skimming the room for anything she might have forgotten, and then moved onto the bathroom, checking each cabinet. The kitchen was already packed up when he got here, but he looked through it, just in case. By the time he was done, he heard the buzzer go off, and opened the door for Febe, letting her back into the apartment. They worked in shifts, Elliot walking down to the truck and loaded a few boxes while Febe stayed upstairs gathering what she could, and vice versa. Surprisingly there was just enough room in the U-Haul for the last item, which just so happened to be the dresser. The drawers were taped shut with a strip of masking tape, but that didn’t make the trip down the stairs any more pleasant.

Elliot high-fived Febe, and then ran a hand through his hair, a sigh of relief washing over him. “And off we go, back to Jersey.” He mumbled once she had started the truck, and moved through the heavy traffic. Elliot offered to drive, but he was shot down the moment he asked. He knew why now, though, driving with a trailer in the city took a lot more skill than he had.

He didn’t have the patience Febe did, he probably would’ve just run people over at this point, but she weaved through the traffic, finally getting onto I-278 West. “It’s gonna take like two hours to get down here, feel free to nap.” She looked over at him, and placed a cold hand on his leg patting it gently.

“Didn’t know you were so far south,” he said, slumping in the seats of the Dodge Ram slightly. “Not that it’s a bad thing, just didn’t see you as one of those girls.” He stretched his legs kicking them out as far as they’d go.

Febe snorted next to him, her eyes staying on the road, but only one hand remained on the wheel, the other still resting on his leg. “Just because I’m from down by Atlantic City doesn’t mean I’m gonna talk like I’m from Seaside, Elliot.”

“Y’know, as a kid from Washington Township I was told to stay away from you Atlantic City girls,” He smirked even though she wouldn’t be able to see it in the darkness of the truck. “Too much for us to handle, supposedly.” His hand poked at hers, making her retract it quickly.

Febe laughed, her laugh was contagious, it wasn’t bubbly and chipper, but it wasn’t a cackle either. It was a real laugh that he could only describe as Febe.

The next twenty minutes were filled with mindless chatter, about high school, and college. About old friends and funny stories. And the two hours after that were conversations of lost dreams, and future goals. Elliot had learned that her music taste was more that of a seventeen year old, more than a twenty-four year old, ranging from Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd to indie bands like Bright Eyes and Iron&Wine. Though he supposed his love for computers was equivalent to that of a fourteen year old boy who spent too much time watching Star Wars and Back to the Future.

She finally pulled onto the Atlantic City expressway, stopping to pay the toll before the last ten minute stretch of finding the storage facility. “Don’t move until I tell you to, I gotta back this up well enough that I don’t fuck the building or the truck up,” Her hand moved behind his headrest as she twisted around in her seat to see if the trailer was straight. “It’s been a while since I’ve needed to do that.” She chuckled and undid her seatbelt, unlocking the doors of the pickup to unload.

 

* * *

 

The trip back to New York was just as eventful- Febe stopped by her fathers to pick up her Jeep Wrangler, and give him back the Ram. Elliot was introduced and her father made some comments about the two getting together, which ultimately made both of them go beet-red. It was around ten at night when they finally got back, parking her Jeep at James’ lot, which thankfully Elliot didn’t have to face him.

“Thank you so fucking much, Elliot. This means so much to me, I’ll pay you back eventually just let me get on my feet and find a place to move into and I promise that I’ll pay you back.” Her hair was disheveled and her eyes were tired. Elliot wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and hug her. His wish seemed to be granted when her arms were around his neck, and his slinking around her waist. The smell of her hair was something between coconut and fresh ginger, or maybe both mixed. Her face was in the crook of his neck, and his resting just above her hair.

“You don’t need to repay me, seriously,” He pulled away momentarily and looked into her brown eyes, placing a hand on her cheek. His skin was slightly darker than hers, though she had the same olive skin color as her father did. “You should get some rest, Febs.” The whisper was just loud enough for her to hear as his thumb rubbed her cheek, right below the darkening circles under her eyes.

She nodded and gave him a small smile, as she padded off to the already made sofa bed. “No, you take the actual bed, I need to stay up and send a few emails out anyway, I don’t wanna keep you up since you can see the light of my laptop from over here.” His hand grabbed hers gently, leading her over to the mattress that sat on the ground. He placed a kiss on her forehead and grabbed her PJs from the arm of the sofa and tossed them towards her, before he sat down and turned on his laptop.

 

* * *

 

Elliot had fallen into a light sleep when he heard Febe cuss from the bathroom. “Shit…shit why?” She groaned. He moved his finger on the trackpad, waking the laptop up to check the time, the digital display telling him it was only quarter passed midnight. He heard his back crack as he got up, a small sigh of relief washed over him when he felt the tension go away.

He knocked gently on the bathroom door, trying not to startle Febe. “Hey, you okay?” his voice was slightly scratchy from just waking.

“No. Not really,” She sighed, letting the stream of air come out slowly. “I uhm, can you check the bag I brought over for any pads?” her voice was so quiet he had to strain against the door to hear it. His face went red, and the heat crept up the back of his neck.

“Oh,” he said, swallowing quickly. “Yeah, I’ll be right back,” stepping away from the door he began to search for her bag. The only things in there were cigarettes, a few changes of work clothes, and her deodorant. He checked her other bag, just in case she meant that one instead. “Febe, I don’t see any…I’ll run out and get you some okay?” He called, grabbing his wallet and stuffing it in his back pocket. Elliot grew up around Darlene and Angela, so he knew this kind of thing happened. Hell, he had been the one to buy them when Angela was too afraid of the cashier. But this was different, this wasn’t for a sibling or a childhood friend who acted as a second sister, this is for his roommate, who was currently stuck in his bathroom without anything.

He texted Darlene, briefly filling her in on the situation before asking what to buy. Following her instructions he grabbed a bottle of Advil, along with some Midol just in case, and a box of pads. “Are the colors supposed to make them feel better or something?” He rolled his eyes upon seeing the brightly colored box. He checked out quickly, handing the lady at the register twenty dollars before taking his change and making his way back to the apartment.

He knocked on the bathroom door again, and Febe opened it just enough for him to push the bag through. He sat back down on the bed next to Flipper, patting the small dog’s head, and scratching behind her ears. When Febe walked out of the bathroom her eyes were red and she sniffled a bit, rubbing her hands over her eyes, and down her cheeks. Elliot patted the spot beside him, hugging her gently when she sat down. “Don’t worry about it, alright? Shit happens and you can’t really help it.” He rocked her gently, his hand rubbing circles on her back. He didn’t know how long they sat there like that, but he didn’t really care.

Febe pulled away from the hug, and offered him a sleepy smile before she curled up, and wrapped the blanket around herself a section of it still spread across the bed. “Can you stay here?” She mumbled, looking up at him from under the covers. The heat that had gone away for a while now came back, crawling up his neck and onto his cheeks.

“Yeah, just let me fold up the sofa, okay?” He patted her leg, and stood to put the pullout back into its sofa form. It was just one night, right? Wouldn’t hurt either of them to stay in the same bed. It was just one night. Elliot put the pillows back on the couch before he changed into his tee-shirt and a pair of fresh boxers. He slid under the covers, and kissed the brunette girl’s forehead. “Get some sleep, Febs.” It was just one night, he didn’t know why his heart was pounding so much. He heard it in his head, and he hoped Febe hadn’t been able to.

 

* * *

 

 _Weep not for roads untraveled._  
Weep not for sights unseen.  
May your love never end,  
and if you need a friend,  
there’s a seat here alongside me.  
  


[Roads Untraveled—Linkin Park](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFiNlLt8sJw)  
  


[Playlist!](https://open.spotify.com/user/bgscheel/playlist/0yJ0LbVG8hYHnoBHsW3Q2j)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About time there was some fluffy stuff ;)  
> Instagram: chris.cochise  
> Twitter: porzellans  
> just--joshing--ya.tumblr.com 
> 
> There's now a playlist on spotify for this fic, it will be linked at the end of each chapter from here on out.


	8. The Thought That Gives Me The Creeps

Oh no, what if I never knew your name?  
Oh my god, the thought’s insane.  
What if your love is not the same  
as it seems inside my brain?  
What if you’re not really in my sheets?  
Oh, just the thought gives me the creeps.

[The Thought That Gives Me the Creeps—Hellogoodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WPnaDet8eg)

* * *

 

Febe woke up to a knock at the door, and a low bark from Flipper. Her brown eyes scanned the room for the clock by Elliot’s computer, landing on the blur of digital red lines that somehow made up the time. It took the girl a moment to realize the warm arm wrapped around her waist, and Elliot’s body pressed against hers. She smiled warmly, and wiggled free of his grasp.

The brunette squinted, finally able to see the clock. Seven-thirty in the morning, who the hell was knocking at seven in the morning!? Febe padded over to the door, and peered out of the little peephole, standing on her tip-toes just a tad. There was a girl outside, heart shaped sunglasses adorned her face as she peeked over the frames. “C’mon, Elliot. Open the door, this is important.” She knocked again, this time a little louder. Febe undid the locks, which earned her a mumbled “Finally.” From the girl outside the apartment door. Slender fingers turned the knob, and Febe peeped her face around the corner of the door.

“He’s still asleep, but you can come in if you’d like,” Febe offered, opening the door just enough for the girl waiting outside. “I’m Febe, by the way.” Closing the door behind them, and padding over to the kitchen.

“Darlene,” She said simply, walking over to the couch to sit down. “So you’re _the_ Febe?” She asked stretching her legs out on the coffee table. “Elliot told me you were helping his needy ass out after the hospital incident,” Darlene chuckled and twirled a strand of hair around her finger. “Thanks for that, by the way, I know how much of a pain he can be.”

The brunette girl walked back out into the living area, two glasses of water in hand as she sat next to the slimmer of the two. “He’s not that bad,” she shrugged, and handed Darlene her water. “He’s alright. Good kid, in all honesty.” Febe looked over at the man sleeping, and smiled a bit at how peaceful he looked. The constant look of worry and angry was wiped away from his face, replaced with a small pout.

Darlene merely smiled and looked over at her brother. She was glad he’d finally gotten what looks like a peaceful night’s sleep. “He have any nightmares recently? He used to get them a lot when we were kids,” She laughed sadly, shaking her head slightly as she pushed the sunglasses on top of her head. “Oh shit, I almost forgot!” Darlene pulled her purse off of her shoulder, digging through it in her lap. “He needed a re-fill of his meds, and I picked them up last night so I could come over,” She shook the orange and white bottle in the air and handed it to Febe. “You… do know about these right? Oh, please tell me he’s been taking them.” Darlene walked over to the dresser and looked for the older bottle of Elliot’s medication.

“He’s been taking something. Two times a day, morning, and before we eat dinner.” The brunette placed the bottle on the table, and turned her head to see Elliot shifting in his bed, and rubbing at his eyes.

When Elliot’s gaze landed on Darlene he all but jumped out of the bed, the white sheets pooling to the floor around him. “Dude, you can’t just break in like that, I already told you Febe was over! What if you woke her u-“ He glanced back to the bed seeing it empty, and then his eyes met Febe’s. “ _Oh._ ” Was all the male said after processing the situation.

“I let her in, she said it was important.” Febe shrugged and took a sip of the water in her hand. She didn’t see it as a problem, Darlene seemed to know Elliot well enough so why not let her in instead of turning the poor girl down?

Elliot frowned, and padded over to the kitchen, trying not to trip over the small black dog who slept in the threshold. He poured himself a cup of water, and sat next to Febe on the couch plucking the bottle from her fingers. “Next time just wake me up. I don’t want someone coming in here that shouldn’t,” His tan fingers opened the childproof lid, and he plunked a small white pill into his mouth, swishing it down with the cool water. His eyes darted back and forth between Febe, who was picking at her fingers head down so the hair covered her eyes, and Darlene who was tapping a heeled foot on the hardwood floor, arms crossed over her chest. “It’s not your fault, okay? You didn’t know.” He patted Febe’s arm gently.

“She doesn’t know about it?” Darlene cut in, her eyebrow quirked as she shot a few daggers at her brother.

Elliot shook his head, and clenched his jaw in response. No, she didn’t know. Elliot knew he’d have to tell her eventually, but he didn’t have the courage to. Not when the brunette could so easily slip away from him. God, he was so happy, and he didn’t want to lose the only actual friend he’d made. “Tell her, Elliot. She’s not going to like… eat you or anything, okay? You got this, Bro.” the thinner female ruffled Elliot’s already disheveled hair, and waltzed to the bathroom.

* * *

 

Febe glanced up at the older male, her eyebrows knitting in worry. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. Seriously, Elliot. It’s up to you.” She swallowed thickly, and offered a small smile. Yes, she was worried, and yes she _did_ want to know, but she wasn’t going to make him tell her anything he wasn’t comfortable with.

He shook his head, and twirled his thumbs in circles. “Schizophrenia,” he paused wondering how to explain the single word he had given her. “I have to take the meds or they come back. The last time I didn’t take them Darlene and Angela found me at the cemetery where Darlene and mine’s dad is back in jersey.” Elliot’s jaw was clenched, and he sighed shakily.

“I’m glad they found you. And I’m glad you’re taking them again,” Her voice was soft, and she wasn’t quite sure what to say. “It probably won’t make you feel much better but I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was young,” She paused and rested her hand on Elliot’s knee. “Also should wear glasses, but I don’t because they make me look even weebier than I am. _And_ when I was younger I lost eighty percent of my hearing because I decided it would be fun to stick my ears under the bath-tub faucet,” Elliot laughed at that slightly, and shook his head. “Still can’t hear right…though that might be because of stage-side concerts without ear plugs. You could say I’m a little bit of a bad-ass.” She winked playfully, and nudged his arm.

“I don’t think you’d look weeby.” He said simply, looking over at Febe with a small smile upon his lips.

“Is that _all_ you picked up from that story?” Her curly hair bouncing slightly as she laughed. There it is, there’s the laugh. Elliot’s smile grew and so did the tension in his chest. The brunette pushed up from her seat, and walked towards her bag. “Here, marvel at my dorkiness, Alderson.” The tan girl slid the glasses on over her ears, and one finger pushed them up her nose. The metal frames were cold from sitting on the floor, causing the heat from her breath to fog them up.

Elliot turned to look at her, his green eyes locking onto her brown eyes, and he smiled. “You don’t look weeby. You look cute.” It wasn’t a lie, not at all, but Elliot didn’t process what he had said. And when he did his eyes widened, and a heat crept up the back of his neck.

“Oh god. You two are so gross,” Darlene slid out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped over her hair as it dried. She made a slight gagging noise before she shook her hair free of the wrap, small droplets of water hitting the floor. She chucked the towel at her brother, and laughed softly. “Honestly, I’m surprised the two of you haven’t hooked up yet. You’re both nerdy enough, and it seems like the two of you are already attached at the hip.” She winked playfully, and swiped the towel off of Elliot’s head revealing the furious blush that spread across his cheeks and nose.

Febe cleared her throat, and slipped into the bathroom. “I uhm. I’ll be right back.” She closed the door behind her and turned the faucet on, splashing the cool water on her face. Febe brushed her teeth, and ran a hand through her short locks to untangle it. When she exited the room Darlene was sat on the leather couch, and Elliot was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

 

“He left to walk Flipper. Don’t worry I didn’t toss him out the window,” She let out a breathy laugh and tipped her sunglasses back down. “Hmm, let’s go out and look at all the pricey items we can’t afford.” The thinner girl hummed, and stood. She took hold of Febe’s bag and sifted through her clothes, picking out a David Bowie tee-shirt and a pair of jeans that the brunette had worn so many time there were holes forming in the knees. Darlene tossed the clothes at Febe, and began searching for a piece of paper and a pen to write a note to her brother with.

Febe did as she was told, even if it wasn’t said aloud. The shirt hung loosely, and the jeans weren’t skin tight, but tight enough to keep them up without a belt. The handheld mirror in her backpack was yanked out by slender fingers as Darlene laid it face down on the table. “Let me do your makeup, I think I have something in mind.” The pale girl grabbed a few things out of both of their bags, and set to work on Febe’s makeup.

It wasn’t what Febe would have normally worn, or even attempted to do herself, but it was amazing nonetheless. Her cheekbones where prominent, despite having a fairly round face. And her eyes were covered with a mixture of dark and light browns, her lips were tinted a dark maroon color that made her thin lips look a bit plumper than they normally did. Darlene had even go so far as to give Febe’s hair a bit of volume with a few spritzes of hairspray.

Febe was marveled when she looked in the mirror, and had to keep back a smile. Febe didn’t have super high self-confidence, but now? Hot damn she felt like she could rule the world with how beautiful she looked. “And the finishing touch,” Darlene’s slender hands placed the round framed glasses onto Febe’s face, careful not to poke her in the eyes with the backs of them. “There we go.” She smiled and brushed the imaginary dirt off of her shoulders.

The two of them set off towards one of the many shopping districts, laughing and talking about anything they could. It turned out that Febe and Darlene were a lot alike. Music wise they were pretty similar, Darlene tended to listen to more pop music than Febe. Their clothing styles differed in a lot of ways, but they both found a happy medium where the two of them agreed. While Darlene was skilled in computer tech, Febe was skilled in music and in editing videos. And when Darlene brought up Elliot again Febe found a strange tightness in her stomach, a few butterflies floating around.

They shopped around for a few hours, buying what they could with the small amount of money they each had. Febe had picked up a late birthday present for Elliot. She was over a month late but she hoped he liked it anyway. It was the boxset of Back to the Future. That reminded Febe that her own birthday was coming up. Twenty-five wasn’t that big of a number but she still found herself cringing slightly. She hadn’t had many birthday parties growing up, but Angela had made her promise to come to the one she was going to throw. The first though that came to mind was if Elliot would show up. He didn’t go to Angela’s, so she didn’t know why she expected him to come to hers.

Maybe he would, though. And Febe kept that glimmer of hope close to her heart.


	9. Evening Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Febe's Birthday is on Halloween, just so everyone has an idea of where we are in the plot.

_That shirt looks better on you than on me it ever could  
and that tattoo on your left leg looks better than it should._

_I’ll close up all the windows and lock the bedroom door_  
‘cause tonight you look so beautiful, more than you ever have before  
Maybe it’s ‘cause I missed you these past few days away  
is there anything that I could do that just might make you stay?

[Evening Coffee—Moose Blood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=febIIGNVTWM).

* * *

 

When the two arrived back at work their coworkers hardly left them alone all day, constantly sending IMs over the work chat, and stopping by their side of the office anytime they could. Febe talked to Angela about the party, telling her she didn’t feel too well and that Angela might have to cancel it. The blonde woman didn’t fall for the bluff, telling the taller girl “I’m not letting you pull an Elliot, and I’m not letting him pull one either.”

The first day back was fairly busy, Febe checking into the servers and making sure nothing had slipped while she was out, and Elliot checked everyone’s. He was the most important one at All Safe and could probably run it by himself if they let him. The end of the day was a lot harder for Febe than she would’ve liked. Elliot stayed in the office a bit longer than usual as the curly-haired girl talked to Gideon.

“I need the change my address, I uhm… I moved.” She said, biting into her bottom lip. She wasn’t sure why she was nervous, but she was. It was just Gideon, the man was a sweet as sugar.

The older man nodded, pushing his glasses onto his face. “What’s the address?” Gideon asked, his graying hair shimmered in the fluorescent lighting of his office.

“It’s uhm,” She looked out of the glass office and caught Elliot’s gaze, the awkward man now making his way through the maze of chairs until he was inside their boss’ office. Once the man was standing beside her some of the nervousness ebbed away. Gideon was looking up at Elliot now, who was standing with his hands in his hoodie pockets.

“Febe’s staying with me until she finds a better place in Brooklyn,” Elliot spoke, a small tint of red coloring his face. Their boss nodded and shooed them out of his office.

And that was that. The two made their way out of the building and back home.

* * *

 

-Small time jump-

Elliot was buttoning up a black dress shirt, fiddling with the bottom button. “That’s crooked,” Febe said, a mascara wand swiping at her eyelashes. She peered up in the bathroom mirror, seeing Elliot groan as he sat down on the edge of the bathtub. “Here, let me do it.” She turned around and capped the mascara. She gestured for him to stand again, and began undoing the small buttons.

“You’d think a twenty-eight year old man could button his shirt without help.” He grumbled, letting a sigh of defeat escape through his lips. Febe laughed, and tugged on the shirt to straighten it.

“You’d think for a twenty-five year old girl I’d be able to put mascara on without nearly poking my eye out,” Febe countered him and began buttoning his shirt, starting at the collar and working her way down. She didn’t think much of the act but Elliot? Oh, that boy’s heart was beating a million miles a minute, and his breath hitched when her cold fingers touched his bare skin accidentally. “Sorry. I always have cold hands. Didn’t mean to freeze you or anything.” She backed away and looked at the buttons, eyes scanning up and down to make sure they were all even.

“Unless you’re waiting for me to shove my hands down your pants, tuck your shirt in, Alderson.” Febe laughed and shook her head. Elliot hadn’t even noticed she moved back to the mirror so quickly, and now fumbled to tuck his shirt in. His cheeks felt like they would explode at any minute. She rolled her eyes and headed out to the living room. Even with the small doubt in the back of her mind she knew Elliot had fallen for her, that’s not what worried her. What worried her was the fact that she might fall for him. She couldn’t allow herself to do that, coworkers weren’t supposed to hook up. Even if they didn’t work in the same office it would be bad. She’d have to tell him more than she was comfortable with.

Febe pulled on a pair of baby doll heels, making her eye to eye with Elliot. Her dress was shorter than she’d have liked, but Darlene and Angela both insisted she wear it, at least for a few hours of the night. Her tattoo peeked out slightly when she stood, and would show when she sat down. The dress itself was nice, all black aside from the white Peter Pan collar around the neck. The fabric hugged her frame, showing more of her figure than she’d like. That is what made her most uncomfortable- the fact that everyone could see the curve of her hips that she hated so much.

Soon enough the two of them were on their way to Angela and Ollie’s apartment. When the blonde opened the door she smiled widely, perfectly white teeth practically lighting up the hallway. “Febe, I don’t know how you even managed to get him out of that apartment, let alone make him dress for the occasion,”  She ushered them both inside, and enveloped Febe in a hug. “You’re a saint.” Angela said eyeing the brunette girl in front of her.

Elliot stood awkwardly by Febe’s side as the two girls spoke about work, and about how beautiful the other looked. He wasn’t really paying attention until he heard Febe laugh, a small snort following it. His eyes now found the brunette walking towards the door, arm looped with Angela. Elliot followed silently, and let Ollie close the door behind him. “You two a thing now?” He asked, pulling the key out from the lock.

“No, just… just friends.” Elliot pinched the bridge of his nose. Why was he even telling Ollie about his relationship? Ollie was the _last_ person Elliot wanted to talk to about this.

“Shame,” He said, now walking next to Elliot. “Between you and me, I think you two would look great together.” Ollie smirked and went to punch Elliot in the arm before he stopped himself, probably remembering the other man’s no touching rule.

Febe and Angela hailed a cab, and Elliot rushed over to open the door for the two. At least he was a gentleman, right? Instead of letting Febe sit in the middle Ollie slid in next to his blond girlfriend, leaving only one space left in the cab. “I’ll get my own cab, you go ahead, El.” The Hispanic girl said, nearly pushing Elliot into the seat.

“Nah, you can sit up front. Just don’t rob me or nothin’, girl.” The cabby smiled, and opened the front passenger door for Febe. She nodded in thanks, and pulled the seatbelt over her chest.

That probably wasn’t the smartest move on her part. The cabby who came off as kind was now trying to grab her thigh, succeeding when Febe couldn’t move any closer to the door than she already was. She grit her teeth, and tried to bounce her leg up and down to shake him off. It was beyond uncomfortable when the driver moved farther up her leg, touching the lettering of her tattoo.

“Dude, knock it off.” Elliot leaned forward in his seat, and flicked the glass in front of him. Ollie and Angela had been oblivious to what was happening, and were now looking at Elliot with brows furrowed.

The driver scoffed, and looked in the rearview mirror. “Why? She your girl or somethin’, Bro?” His grip on Febe’s leg tightened slightly,

Ollie’s mouth dropped, and Angela looked like she wanted to melt into the seat. “Yeah. She is, _Homie._ ” Elliot’s voice was stern, and filled the car with an unpleasant tension. He’d never sounded this serious, not even when it was just him and Febe. He was always reserved and quiet.

The man’s hand returned to the wheel, but he was still glaring at Elliot through the mirror. A smirk across his lips when he looked back to Febe, who had a death grip on her dress, trying to keep it pulled down.

* * *

 

The tension was still there when they got out  of the cab, Ollie throwing a crumpled twenty through the slot, which was not nearly enough, but the driver took it without argument, and watched Febe walk quickly away from the car. “Hey, we can go home is you want. Jeeze, Febe I had no idea that would happen, seriously we can go-“ Angela caught up with her, heels clicking on the sidewalk.

“No, I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” She smiled, and straightened the dress out, humming softly to herself. And she was fine, that wasn’t a lie. This was New York, it’s not like it hadn’t happened before, not that that made it right.

The two males caught up quickly, and Elliot took Febe by the wrists, moving them a little farther away from the others. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Elliot’s eyes were filled with worry, and his jaw clenched.

“Elliot, I am _fine_ ,” Febe smiled, and ruffled Elliot’s hair playfully. “Seriously, I’m okay,” She paused for a moment, biting her cheek out of habit. “Thank you, for that.” She said, referring to what he said to the driver.

Darlene walked up behind the two, pulling Febe out of Elliot’s arms to look at the girl in front of her. She let out a low whistle, eyes scanning her up and down. “You should wear this more often, Febs!” The semi-bottle blonde winked, and pulled Elliot beside her. “You look-“

“Amazing.” Elliot finished for Darlene, his mouth open slightly. He hadn’t really taken in how great Febe had looked. Sure, she always looked great. But this was different, a drastic change from the jeans and tee-shirts the girl normally wore. Her curls fell into place beautifully, the large corkscrews framing her face. And her eyes picked up every beam of light, shining brighter than any of the lights in the city.

Elliot licked his lips, suddenly finding his mouth dry. He wasn’t even paying attention to the waves of people entering and exiting the restaurant. He was paying attention to the way Febe’s face lit up with a smile, the way she bowed her head, and bit onto her lip. The way she barely mumbled a thank you, and the way she pretended the fix the dress.

* * *

 

A few people from work showed up, including Gideon and his boyfriend. They all entered the restaurant, and were seated in one of those circle type booths. Angela sat on the end, to her left sat Ollie. Next to Ollie was Lloyd. Darlene sat next to him and Gideon, talking over him to his boyfriend, and Febe. Febe sat to Elliot’s right, and Elliot was on the end, facing Angela.

Their orders came fairly quickly, and so did more and wine. Elliot hardly touched the stuff, taking small sips when he felt he had to, and drinking from his water regularly. His sister did the same, but didn’t even drink from the wine glass. Darlene was more of a beer kind of girl anyway.

Dinner went smoothly, and everyone handed Febe small gift bags. Some filled with gift cards, or a CD filled with her favorites. Ollie handed her a card that sung, causing the table to erupt with laughter. Even Elliot found himself laughing along. Darlene gave her a pair of sunglasses that matched the ones Darlene wore daily. She claimed they would “Be twins” when they wore them together. Elliot’s bag was the last one on the table, anxiety bubbling up inside him. He wasn’t a good gift shopper, and Darlene was of no help.

“I’ll be right back.” He mumbled pushing up from the table, trying to get away. Febe placed a gentle hand on his thigh, eyes silently telling him it’d be okay. Elliot sunk back down into the booth, and wrapped his arms around his torso, nails digging into his skin through the shirt.

Febe smiled toothily, and reached for the bag. She pulled out the tissue paper haphazardly, and placed the card on the table to be read last. At the bottom of the bag there was a small gold box, which Febe’s tan fingers scooped up. There was a small amount of tape sealing the edges, but she easily slid a nail underneath, ripping it open. Inside lay a necklace with an amethyst pendant hanging from a small metal link. “Can you?” She asked turning in the booth slightly so her back was closer to Elliot. “I wanna wear it.” One hand lifted her hair up slightly, and the other dangled the necklace over her shoulder for Elliot to grab.

Angela and Darlene looked over to each other, mouths open, but smiles tugging at the corners. The others were too busy trying to get a song of ‘Happy Birthday’ sung to be stuck in too much awe.

Elliot lifted a shaky hand to take the necklace, undoing the clasp with a small struggle before he could finally drape it around her neck gently. Darlene winked at him, while Angela shot him a small thumbs up. He did it. He had managed this. He had gotten a gift with no help, and Febe liked it. And for once he couldn’t wait to tell Krista about something.

* * *

 

The ride home was slow, but enjoyable. Febe and Elliot had gotten their own cab back after making sure everyone else got into theirs safely. Febe waved each one of them off, hugging them and telling them that they’d have to do this again sometime.

“Thank you,” She said once they were in the cab. Her head was resting on his shoulder, his arm behind her. He didn’t mind her touching him, in fact he quite liked it. “Honestly, I was worried you wouldn’t come with. And this?” Febe’s fingers played with the pendant around her neck. “This is beautiful, Elliot. Thank you, so much.” Her words were soft, and quiet, but she knew Elliot could hear them better than she could.

He simply nodded, and smiled, while tapping on the glass to tell the driver to stop. He reached for his wallet to pay for cabby, but Febe had beaten him to it once again. “You’re gonna have to let me pay for that one of these days.” He said, closing the door to the cab once she clambered out.

She didn’t answer him, but merely hummed, and walked up the apartment’s red steps, buzzing the two of them in. Febe knew he’d manage to pay for their fairs one of these days, but until then she would. After all, she was the one staying in _his_ apartment.

Flipper nearly jumped into her arms when she walked in, barking and wagging her tail. The small black dog ran to Elliot, and did the same to him. “Hello, Flipper.” Elliot laughed, pushing the small dog inside so he could close and lock the door.

Febe was pulling shorts on under the dress, knowing full well she wouldn’t be able to undo the clasps and zipper that held the dress together. Getting it on was a lot simpler for her, and she could do that by herself. “Unzip me, please,” she stood in front of the dresser, and pulled open a drawer to grab one of Elliot’s tee-shirts. “You don’t mind, right?”

Elliot shook his head, and unzipped the back of the dress, and then undid the top and bottom clasp. This wasn’t too different from what their normal routine was. Febe stealing one of his shirts, and asking him to undo the back of her dress or shirt. He didn’t really understand why they didn’t make more dresses with zippers on the side, or shirts with buttons on the front. He didn’t mind it though, and Febe didn’t either.

What wasn’t normal was Febe putting the shirt on right in front of him, the dress pooled around her feet. Elliot was momentarily shocked before he saw her turn to show him another one of her tattoos. This one was on her right side, hugging her ribs. This one was a small ship being devoured by waves. “I still need to get the lyrics done, but I thought I’d show you,” She pulled the shirt down over her torso. “Need to find an artist who won’t constantly nag at me for ‘Getting a rib tattoo when you have _this.’._ ” Febe poked at her belly and sides, blowing air out of her mouth at an angle so it moved some of her bangs.

“You look fine,” Elliot said, pulling her hands away and holding them in his own. “You look more than fine you look-“

He was cut off by the sudden press of lips against his own, and the feeling of Febe’s arms wrapping around his neck.

She pulled away quickly, and sidestepped around him. Her face was a shade of red similar to a tomato, and the heat that crawled up her neck was so hot she thought she might start to sweat.

“Beautiful.” Elliot mumbled breathlessly, finishing his earlier statement, now frozen in his place.

So much for not liking him, huh, Febe?


	10. Babe, I'm Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m currently working on two more fanfics, one of which is a collab with my friend. They’re both Climbing Class fics, so if you’re interested stay tuned for those. I might write more of Febe and Elliot, but who knows. For now this is all I have planned.
> 
> Mention of past suicide, it’s brief, I don’t dwell on it long, and it’s not in detail. Just giving you guys a heads up.

_Oh she’s my rain in the desert_  
_She’s my sun in the storm_  
_She’s my food when I’m hungry_  
_She’s my rose amongst the thorns_  
_She’s my glue when I’m broken_  
_She’s my warmth when I’m cold_  
_She’s my breath when I’m choking_  
_She’s my bio when I’m soaked_  
  
_But I want cream in my coffee_  
_I want springs in my steps_  
_I want gin in my tonic_  
_And I want all that I can get_  
_I want freedom as I run_  
_And I want wind in my fire_  
_And I want bullets in my gun_  
_To do whatever I desire_  


[Babe I’m Yours—Whilk and Misky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNM4cnLLv5k)

* * *

 

Febe felt a hand grab at her wrists, pulling her into yet another kiss, this one lasting a few seconds longer than before. Flipper perked her head up, tilting to the side before she jumped off of the bed to bite at Elliot’s toes. “Ouch, Flipper! I wasn’t hurting her,” The tanner of the two pulled away, glancing at Febe. “I didn’t hurt you, _right_?” He asked, a blush dotting its way across Elliot’s cheeks and nose.

Febe let out a small laugh, shaking her head from side to side. “No, you didn’t,” a smile made its way across her lips, teeth showing ever so slightly. “Quite the contrary, actually.” The shorter girl leaned down to pet the small dog, and give her a quick scratch behind the ears. Febe felt like she was dreaming, that this wasn’t real at all and that she didn’t just kiss Elliot, that she just made this all up in her head.

Elliot had already made his way over to the computers that sat on his desk, taking up eighty-percent of the room. The other twenty was occupied by his keyboard, mouse and occasionally a cup of whatever he was drinking. Sometimes a file took its place, or a plate of food, but afterwards it was totally clear, waiting for something to be set down on the corner. “I need to, uhm,” Elliot turned slightly in the chair, glancing back to Febe. “I need to show you something.” He finished simply, green-blue eyes catching Febe’s deep brown ones.

She, of course, nodded, and leaned over the back of the chair in which Elliot sat. What were they now? Were they a couple, or was whatever just happened going to be forgotten forever? In all honesty Febe wasn’t too sure. Yes, she liked Elliot, and yes she wanted to be with him, to stay here and get to know him for what he really was. But she was afraid of what he’d think when she told him the entire truth about Mack, and her brother. About how she killed her best friend, her-. No, no it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault, and she had to keep telling herself that it wasn’t.

Elliot swallowed thickly, his fingers dancing along the keyboard, opening up several files. He also pulled out a CD case, filled with white CDs, all labeled with band names and album. Most of which Febe had listened to before, or heard of, some unfamiliar ones were there too. The one that caught her eye, though, was one she was very familiar with. No Closer To Heaven by The Wonder Years. And another with “I’ll Keep You In Mind, From Time To Time” by Moose Blood. That was unusual given the rest of Elliot’s albums, most of them with a classic rock theme, not a modern indie-rock theme.

* * *

 

Those were the exact ones he slipped out of the plastic sleeve, too. Febe’s stomach tightened, and her breathing was now shallow and irregular. Elliot pressed the rectangular button on the CD drive, slipping the CD with The Wonder Years’ newest album into the slot. His fingers grasped the mouse, and opened a file, other hand quickly typing in a password, and several files began to download. The male squeezed his eyes shut and opened them, revealing several of Febe’s social media sites, and her few email accounts. He opened another file, this one containing screenshots of her texts, and phone calls, a few pictures that were taken from her phone popped up along with them. Febe wasn’t sure how to react, her eyes wide and a hand raised to her mouth. “What the fuck…”

That’s when Elliot ejected the disc, and placed the other one in. The files opened quickly on that one, a simple media file containing a few of the selfies Elliot had taken with Febe on his phone, and some of the goofy ones she had sent him while out getting the groceries for the week, or his from when he walked Flipper, and ran out to get the two of them cigarettes, or from his trips down to Krista. “I don’t do this,” He started, picking at the nail beds on his fingertips. “I don’t take pictures, I don’t text. I never take selfies. And I don’t smile or joke around with anyone but you.”

He turned in the chair, a lump forming in his throat when he saw the complete and utter shock. He expected her to get up and leave, to slap him or scream and then walk away. But she didn’t. “And I’m fucked up, I know I’m fucked up. I know I shouldn’t be playing God with other people’s lives, I shouldn’t be looking where I’m not wanted. But I do, and I only meant to look into you so I was sure you wouldn’t kill me while I was asleep,” He paused taking another breath before continuing. “But you were so interesting. Your music, and your writing. God, they made me feel like…like I _knew_ you,” He had popped the white disc out now, and placed it on the table with the other one. “I felt like I understood why you hid for so long, why you shy away from the world.”

This wasn’t right, she shouldn’t be here. She should’ve left long before he began explaining. Febe should have left as soon as those first few files were opened. But she didn’t. She stayed in place, her hands just as shaky as the breaths she struggled to take. “I’m not the only one,” her gaze shifted towards the open album case, eyes looking over the several names of each artist’s work. “You do this to everyone. That’s why you don’t exist. You’re a ghost.” She had tried looking him up before, out of curiosity. There was nothing on him, and nothing on Darlene either. Only empty profiles, and broken links.

All Elliot could do was nod and turn back towards the screen, sliding the two discs back into their slots, and zippering the album case back up. Why wasn’t she saying anything about the fact that he had hacked into her every account? Why wasn’t she running away, and why wasn’t she angry at him? “Yeah.” He said, tossing the now closed case across the room and under the dresser.

Febe shifted slightly, her back and neck cracking simultaneously. “Can you…can you do that to me?” She asked, trying to steady her shaky words. “Make me a ghost?” she spoke again, just in case her intentions weren’t clear enough.

Elliot nodded, though a bit confused considering Febe was on her phone most of her free time. He always assumed she was scrolling through some of the many blogs she followed, or was messaging friends over apps he hadn’t gotten into yet. “I haven’t been completely honest, either,” Febe said, making Elliot turn back around to face girl who was now sitting on the edge of his bed. “About Mack, or Andy. About my dad. I haven’t even told you about my mother,” She looked down to the floor like it was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. “Andy and I are only a year apart. We were close growing up, he always protected me, always was there for me. Until high school at least. He fit in more with the popular kids, leaving me behind. I picked up bass, and piano, and I joined the choir. That’s where I met Mack. She was the first one to actually talk to me outside of class, the first one to take interest in my music. Andy fell for her almost instantly, but never asked her out until they were in college.

My senior year in high school is when it happened. I didn’t answer my phone in time, and Mack and I had a stupid fight the night before. I wasn’t thinking and I said some really fucked up shit. She went to Andy’s dorm for a few days, and she wouldn’t answer my texts or calls. Neither would Andy. And one day I finally got a call back,” She looked up at Elliot, her eyes meeting his briefly. “And she was gone. Just like that. Jumped off of the bridge where we used to hang out. I should’ve stopped her, should’ve found her before it all happened. I blamed myself for years, and I still do. Andy blames me too, but he’s too blind to realize the fact that he could’ve stopped her too.”

Elliot moved quicker than he ever had in his life, nearly throwing himself down onto the bed next to Febe. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know that now. I know it wasn’t me who made her do it, but I still feel like I could’ve stopped her, like I could’ve done something about it,” The brunette let out a defeated laugh that came out to be more of a sigh than anything.  “My mom died the same year, leukemia from the company she worked at. You wanna take a guess at which company that might be?” It was a rhetorical question, both she and Elliot knew the answer.

Elliot’s eyes widened, and his breath hitched. “Darlene and my dad too, when I was eight.” He couldn’t believe it, he didn’t want to believe it. His dad, Angela’s mom, and now Febe’s mom? All because of the same company? All because of E-Corp? And now they all worked together, just like their parents did.

“I was like four, maybe five. Didn’t really know her. Apparently she was a riot, though. I can only imagine what that woman must’ve done while she was here,” Febe smiled sadly at the thought, though some happiness backed that smile with her next thought. “You think that’s why you were told Atlantic City girls were ‘too much to handle’? Because of my mother?”  She turned her head to the side, looking at Elliot with a raised eyebrow, and a happier smile on her thin lips.

That made Elliot remember the conversations he had with his father, about the woman from work that was sassy, and witty. The woman who would fire a comeback at you mere seconds after you spoke. The Hispanic woman who was a mother to two children, and who mothered all of her coworkers. Febe’s mom was the woman who died months before Elliot’s dad did, she was the woman who died before Angela’s mom. Darlene, Elliot and Angela had all been to her funeral, had all tried to comfort the small girl who cried for her mother. The small girl was Febe, the same girl who came to Angela’s mom’s funeral, and to Elliot’s dad’s. The small girl who suddenly disappeared after that. “Yeah, yeah, your mom was Francisca, wasn’t she?” He asked, remembering the name that his father would often say with a mock Spanish accent.

Febe nodded, her eyebrows knit in slight confusion. “How’d you know that?” Her father never talked about her mother’s funeral. Not unless he was going to her grave to drop off flowers for a holiday or for her birthday.

“We went to the funeral. Darlene, Angela and I. My dad too, and mom. Angela’s mom was too sick to come, but she wrote a letter to you and your brother. We all sat by the tree and tried to calm each other down, we only saw you at our parent’s funerals, and then you disappeared.”

Febe took hold of Elliot’s hand, sighing through her nose as she remembered all three funerals. They were only kids, they didn’t know what had happened to their parents. Who’d have ever imagined all four of them would’ve ended up ad friends. Who’d have known Febe would’ve found the boy who found her crying under the tree with her stuffed bear.

* * *

 

They didn’t talk about their pasts anymore after that, they only sat in silence remembering the few happy things that happened to them recently. They talked about whatever came to mind, and that was okay. That was what they needed now.

“So, uh, do you wanna be my girlfriend?” Elliot finally asked, gnawing on the inside of his lip as he waited for Febe’s reply. It felt like an eternity had passed before he heard her speak again.

“Oh no, of course not. I definitely just expected us to keep this up forever,” she said sarcastically, a teasing grin on her face. Elliot saw her mother in her now, maybe not physically, but there was the wit, and the sass his father had talked about. There was the mothering nature when she made sure he took his medication, and when she cooked breakfast for him before he was even awake. “Yes, Elliot. I will gladly be your girlfriend. Only on one condition, though.”

“What’s that?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Clean this mess up, and wash the dishes like you said you would before we left.” She playfully kicked Elliot in his side, tossing her head back with laughter. And god was she beautiful, her personality, her laugh, her smile, her ability to bounce back so quickly after events that would have had Elliot crying for weeks, or months. She was beautiful in the ways Elliot never imagined could exist.

Febe didn’t see Elliot as what he perceived himself to be. She didn’t see him as the monster, or the horrible villain. She saw him as someone who was let down one too many times, the person who tried to help himself by hiding away and watching at a distance. Febe saw him as Elliot, and he was amazing


	11. Get Lonely

_I will rise up early_  
and dress myself up nice  
And I will leave the house   
and check the deadbolt twice

_And I will find a crowd_  
and blend in for a minute   
and I will try to find  
a little comfort in it

_And I will get lonely_  
and gasp for air  
and send your name off from my lips  
like a signal flare

[Get Lonely—The Mountain Goats](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXw_p3FrYBQ)

* * *

 

They went to bed late that night, staying up far longer than they should have joking around and laughing at anything even somewhat funny. Everything was nice, and the air around them was easier to breathe than it ever had been before. Life wasn’t a story book, though. And not everyone got a happy ending.

Sometimes the princess wasn’t saved by the brave young man who came to save her from the tower. Sometimes the girl got away, leaving the boy to compare every other person he dated to _her_. Hell, we all know good things don’t come without what seems like a shit-storm of bad.

* * *

 

It was December now, Thanksgiving had come and gone. Febe went down to her father’s while Elliot was dragged out with Darlene to go to Angela’s family dinner. It didn’t bother them, being apart for a few days. They were okay with it knowing that they’d see each other as soon as they got back to New York. It was good for them to see their family, or what they had left of it.

Andrew had been released from the hospital, and was actually civil during the dinner. It was nice to have him back, after years of him hating her, and wanting her gone and out of his life. She told her father about her and Elliot, and the older man beamed, happy that his “Cariño” had finally found someone she was serious about. Of course her brother, who had snapped back into his protective state, wanted to meet the dude who had his little sister smiling like a dope.

“You’re being awfully nice, Andrew. What are you planning?” Febe was washing the dishes in the sink, her brother drying them to her left. She elbowed him in the side playfully, hoping that his attitude wouldn’t take a turn for the worse.

The older of the Garcia siblings simply shrugged, and leaned against the counter. “I realized how fucked up I was being. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t mine either,” Febe nearly choked on her own air when she heard the words her brother had just said. “And after you came to the hospital for me, I really realized how horrible I was. I mean, dad was busy and mo- Sarah,” he knew Febe still refused to accept their step-mother as their actual mother, especially considering the woman was _never_ there. “Was out of the state for some work thing. But you came, even though I practically despised you for years.”

Febe shut the tap off, and glanced up at her brother with her doe-like brown eyes. “I blamed me too. It’s fine, okay? Just, don’t make me miss any more work, you asshat.” She punched him in the arm lightly, as she struggled to keep the tears back. Andy caught her arm and pulled her in for a tight hug, one that they both desperately needed after years of avoiding each other, and hating the mere thought of each other.

They eventually finished up the dishes, and soon retreated to their childhood bedrooms when Febe heard a knock at the white bedroom door. “Yeah?” She called out, watching the glass doorknob twist, and the door push open into the purple room.

“You got a few minutes?” Andrew asked, his light brown hair picking up every beam of moonlight that showered in from between the silky curtains. Febe nodded, her darker curls bouncing with the movement. “We got some catching up to do, kiddo.” He sat on the edge of her bed, smiling when his eyes landed on the framed pictures along the wall. There were pictures of all three of them, Mack, Andrew, and Febe. And there were a couple of just Febe and Andrew, or Febe and Mack.

She never had it in her to take them down, even after all of the fighting that happened throughout the years. “I wanna meet this Elliot kid before you go moving in with him, alright? Can’t have you getting hurt,” He ruffled her hair, only to get a muffled snort in response. “You did not…you already moved in with him, didn’t you?” She didn’t need to answer him. “Hold on, let me channel dad here…Oh mi Dios, Febe!” He rubbed at his temples, eyes screwed shut.

Febe rolled her eyes, and kicked him in the side. “I got evicted, dumb ass. I only moved in with him temporarily _before_ we started dating. I’m looking for apartments, okay? Don’t worry about it. Now get out of my room and let me sleep, I have to get back up to New York tomorrow.”

* * *

 

The few weeks back in the city weren’t too bad, Febe worked and so did Elliot, the two of them came home and ate dinner when they weren’t too tired, or busy. At one point Elliot got so into his work that Febe had to pry the man away to eat.

Febe had brought her keyboard and bass back with her to Elliot’s, they stayed stored in the corner of the room when she wasn’t using them. She played a lot when he wasn’t home, still nervous to actually play anything in front of him despite the fact that he’d already heard her play online.

Elliot made Febe a near ghost, only keeping her Instagram up for her brother’s sake. He insisted that she kept it, in case she needed him and couldn’t text or call. 

They talked about their family dinners, and about how both sides were overly excited about the two of them being together. Elliot had to admit that he was a little shocked when he heard about Andrew’s apology, and even more shocked when he heard that Febe had accepted it. But the fact that Andrew wanted to meet Elliot is what made him moderately uncomfortable. Febe had insisted that he’d be fine, that she would be there right by his side, that her brother wouldn’t try anything or say anything too harsh.

* * *

 

The winter storms hit pretty badly in mid-December, and so did the winter coughs and colds. Febe was the first to catch it, coming home from work one day with a sore throat and a mild head ache. She went to bed early that night, and hardly touched her dinner. The next night was even worse- Febe had developed a small cough, and she felt like she was _freezing_ despite the thermostat telling her it was at least seventy-four degrees in the apartment.

Elliot made her leave work early that day, nearly pushing her out of the office’s glass doors despite how absolutely adorable she sounded with a stuffy nose. He came home with a few cans of soup, and some crackers for dinner. “You awake?” He asked, peeping his head around the kitchen wall. There was a lump on the mattress, the blankets balled up, and Flipper lying next to it. When she didn’t answer he just assumed that she was asleep, after all she hadn’t slept well the last two nights maybe she had finally caught a break and fell asleep.

He went back to the kitchen with a light shrug, turning on the stove, and pouring the contents of the can into a small pot. Elliot didn’t bother to check in on Febe until the soup was done. He spooned some of it into mismatching bowls for the two of them, and carried it to the bed. “Hey, wake up sleepy head.” He nudged the blanket with his knee, causing the entire blanket to slide across the bed, no Febe in sight. Two bowls of soup now sat on the floor to Flipper’s disposal as the male hurried to find his phone to call Febe. He didn’t get an answer the first three times he called, and he didn’t get an answer to any of the texts he’d sent.

Darlene was the first person he called, asking her if she’d seen or heard from the brunette female at any point in the day. When Darlene told him that she’d stopped by around three the wave of panic subsided. “She was here at three, asked if I could take the train down to Jersey with her. Is she sick, she looked pretty washed out, dude? Should probably get her some cold medicine or something.”

Elliot sighed into the phone as he pulled on his hoodie, and slipped on his shoes. “Yeah, she’s sick. I came home to make her some dinner and she was just gone. Did she tell you where she was going?” Elliot knew she had to of gone to her father’s house, or at least somewhere near. Darlene told him she didn’t know, but that she seemed pretty calm, she told him not to worry about it.

He was beyond worried, though. Febe hadn’t answered her phone in over an hour now, and he suddenly felt incredibly stupid for wiping out all of her social media. He still had her phone number, and Instagram, but that would only get him so far. Sure, h could track the phone and use a GPS to find out where it was, but she could’ve left her phone in another place, or with someone else.

It ended up being his last resort, he’d gotten to Jersey and had no god damned clue where her father lived. He walked the unfamiliar streets, and ended up in front of a small house with a wooden porch. Elliot walked up the steps, careful to step as lightly as he could, not wanting to disturb her father or whoever else lived in the house. After knocking on the door once, twice, three times a younger man opened it, his brows knit with curiosity. “And you are?”

“Elliot Alderson,” He surprised himself with how steady his own voice was. “Febe isn’t at my apartment and she hasn’t answered her phone. I was hoping she came here after she took the train with my sister, Darlene.” Elliot pushed the hood off of his head, and ran a shaky hand through the curly tufts of hair that now sat in odd positions.

Andrew opened the door for Elliot, and closed it behind him. “She’s here, but she was asleep last time I checked on her. I’m Andrew, by the way. You probably already knew that, though,” He held his hand out for Elliot to shake, and as much as the Alderson boy didn’t want to, he did. This was Febe’s brother after all, he needed to make a better impression on Andy than Andy had on him. Even if he had apologized to Febe for being a total dick, Elliot still couldn’t stop replaying the image of a broken down Febe lunging across the room in his mind. He doubted the light haired brunette remembered Elliot from the hospital anyway. “You can chill here until she wakes up, if you want. She wouldn’t tell me what happened when she came in, but she’s like that. You’ll get used to it, dude.” The older sibling smiled at Elliot before he walked into the kitchen.

“You want some food or somethin’?” When the taller man came back into the living room with a half-eaten box of pizza Elliot simply nodded, not looking for much conversation if he could help it. That’s the opposite of what he got, though, as Andy took the time to grill Elliot with questions.

* * *

 

Elliot ended up liking Andrew to a certain extent, he quickly learned that he wasn’t a bad person, just not a perfect one. Febe’s brother was just looking out for her, and Elliot understood that to a certain extent. When Darlene introduced her boyfriend to him he’d hacked the dude as soon as he got the chance, finding out everything he could about him. And after years of being an asshole Elliot assumed that this was just him trying to make it okay again.

“You two losers enjoying yourselves?” Febe sniffed, and padded down the narrow staircase, hair tied haphazardly into a ponytail, and one of Elliot’s button-up work shirts on over a pair of black yoga shorts.

Elliot pushed up from the embroidered sofa, and nearly ran to Febe before pulling her into a tight hug, his chin resting on top of her head. “What’s going on? You had me worried sick, Febe.” He kissed the crown of her head, inhaling her familiar scent.

She shrugged, and snaked her arms around his waist, and up his back. “Thought I’d stay here for a few days so I didn’t get you sick. I left a note on the pillow.” Febe mumbled into his chest, nuzzling into his each and every touch. It was rare for Elliot to give more than a squeeze of a hug, or a simple peck on the cheek or lips. Though he was a major cuddle-bug. If Febe so much as leaned her head against his shoulder during a movie he’d immediately position himself so the two of them could watch the movie and cuddle comfortably.

Too embarrassed to admit he didn’t look for a note underneath the mound of blankets Elliot simply hummed and pulled back from their hug. “I don’t care if I get sick, besides- I have a strong immune system.” He tucked a few strands of curly hair out of Febe’s face, face wrinkled with concern for the sick girl.

Andrew cleared his throat before he spoke, earning the attention of the couple by the bottom of the staircase. “It’s great that you two are all lovey dovey and shit, but it’s getting pretty late and you’re sick,” he pointed a tan finger at Febe, moving it in a small circle before stuffing his hand back into his pocket. “Go hit the hay, kiddos.” Andrew ushered the two up the staircase, causing Febe to pout and whine, her voice altered by how stuffed up her nose was.

The two had been corralled into Febe’s old room, a small night-light illuminating the hardwood flooring of the old house. There were a few stuffed animals on her bed, most of them kicked down by to foot, while her most treasured few remained by the pillows at the head of the bed. Elliot’s eyes wandered around the room, smiling when he saw the pictures and posters mounted on the walls. There was a picture on Febe’s bureau of her as a toddler, and her mother smiling widely. The two of them looked nearly alike now that Febe had grown. Doe-like brown eyes, curly brown hair, and olive-toned skin. The only major difference were their face shapes, and cheekbones. Febe’s cheeks were fuller and rosier, and her face was rounder.

Febe twisted her lips into a frown, and climbed onto the old mattress, gently placing the stuffed bear she loved dearly on the nightstand next to her bed. Elliot was quick to take the hint, and slipped out of his jeans somewhat awkwardly before he sidled up next to Febe, pulling the covers over the both of them. “Promise me that next time you’ll just let me take care of you?”

Febe nuzzled into his chest and nodded. “Promise.” She grabbed one of Elliot’s hands, and pulled on his pinky, wrapping hers around it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been about an entire month since I last posted! I am soooo sorry for the hiatus, guys, I just reallly needed a break to calm myself down and get past that little bit of writers block.  
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, despite all the jumping around.
> 
> If you have any requests, or recommendations let me know!  
> (I'm now taking one-shot/imagine requests on here and on my tumblr/instagram!)
> 
> IG: @alderson.elliot  
> just--joshing--ya.tumblr.com


	12. I'm afraid this is coming to an official end

As I've been quite busy the past few months I've not been able to write anything for this fic thats longer than 300 words. I've run clean out of ideas, so I fear that when I do write the next chapter, it will be the last. I'm sorry friends, but this will not be the last you hear from me; I have been writing requests on tumblr and I will upload those here as well as write more fics/one-shots.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! If you stuck around this long, thank you. Please leave any suggestions in the comments, Kudos is always nice. When you’re commenting please only give constructive criticism. As for updates I’ll probably update weekly, if I have the time. I’m not sure how long this is gonna be, but I hope you all stay along for the journey.  
> XxLane.


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